hi guys and gals! this is my first shot at lyics and would love to get everyone's opinion....good or bad...
you can blame it on marrying young
even blame it on me if you want
if thats what gets you through
another night of fun
if you could see the tears fill his eyes
as he watches you drive away
you'd turn your car around
and you would stay
i cant break another promise
another promise that you've made
when its my voice that he hears
when his heart starts to break
chorus
dont you ever wonder what he said today
or what he made at school
his favorite games to play
his favorite color is blue
and he swears he's spider man
these are just a few things
that should matter to you
Good subject.
Do you have a tune for it?
I understand the father not seeing his son but I don't understand where
when its my voice that he hears
when his heart starts to break
those two lines come from.
It might be worth wording it so that the
broken promise ties in with the broken heart.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Good subject.
Do you have a tune for it?
I understand the father not seeing his son but I don't understand where
when its my voice that he hears
when his heart starts to break
those two lines come from.
It might be worth wording it so that the
broken promise ties in with the broken heart.
Hey kenrogers2! Thanks for the reply! You got the subject right but it's actually about my soon to be ex-wife not seeing our son. The lines you were referring to talk about ME having to break promises that SHE has made to him and him hearing my voice telling him the bad news...maybe I should reword that part...
Hey kenrogers2! Thanks for the reply! You got the subject right but it's actually about my soon to be ex-wife not seeing our son. The lines you were referring to talk about ME having to break promises that SHE has made to him and him hearing my voice telling him the bad news...maybe I should reword that part...
Yeh I got that.
when its my voice that he hears
when his heart starts to break
It's that first "when" that is confusing to me.
Maybe leave it out or substituting "for" and it will be clearer.
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
AHA! I gotcha now....sorry bout that. No, I don't have a tune for it yet...
Anyone else? id really appreciate any constructive criticism...
