OK well i'm still new to this stuff but i think this song is ok(i wrote it after listeng to 3 days grace for 3 hours lol) Pardon my spelling
ok Song is about hating some1 but what you hate about them is really what you hate about yourself
Verse 1
I only hate you.
Because I hate me too.
This pain is to deep!
I see me
When I look at you.
Thats the part
I hate the most of you.
This path leads to steep!
Verse 2
And night after night.
Each fight after fight.
Were left there to die.
Our hearts scared by...
Each and every fatal blow.
One more one less to go.
This fight will never end..
working on chorus it's a rock song singing is a lil wierd but it keeps u wanting more.
Welcome to guitarnoise, or as Musenfreund would say, "Welcome to the musical madhouse" :) It's pretty good, but its not a song without music! Try some chords out and slap em on and you got a song!
Stairway to Freebird!
Pretty good. I like it. Would love to hear it once it's made a song.
Hi! My only criticism is pretty general, and it's only over this part:
Verse 1
I only hate you.
Because I hate me too.
This pain is to deep!
I see me
When I look at you.
Thats the part
I hate the most of you.
This path leads to steep!
There's an ancient writing tip, and that is to avoid exposition of your ideas. Another, more focused for songwriting, is not to shoot your whole wad right out of the gate, so to speak. You've got both of these in the first three lines - you're exposing his hate and then you shoot off what should be toward the end: the reason he hates this person, is what he sees in himself. Which, I might add at this point, is a damn good theme for a song. I would suggest you be a little more subtle about the whole thing and save the self-depreciative for later, and spread it out more along all of the song. I will say now that I didn't bring up your second verse because it's pretty good. It has all that it needs to and it isn't over the top. It even sets up the problem. In fact, if you're not too willing to change the lyrics a lot, I'd suggest switching the verses around and consider making the verse I quoted above just a little less explicit. I think you've got something of a good song on your hands!
