ok so I wrote this song. I dont think its perfect. Infact the lines with the** stars are indicators of I'll take ANY suggestions. Those lines I think are really silly. :lol:
Jealously
Why have you brought your own self down
*Your swimming in a jealous sea thats gonna make you drown*
It's not my fault you hate me
*your in your own world that you need to flee*
chorus
Your jealously
isnt hurting me
It's all inside your head
your jealously
isnt hurting me
your the one to dread
Sometimes your nice, but thats a lie
why not speak your mind and move on by
My attitude is not whats wrong
your shallow way is singing this song
chorus
your jealously
isnt hurting me
*gossip is not the key*
your jealously
isnt hurting me
why cant you let me be me?
Maybe I seem intimidating
but your the one participating
in this crazy thing you've brought up
dont give me sad eyes your not a pup(i hate that line!!please help)
somekind of guitar solo or something here
what makes a person act this way
*this is not a game I like to play*
now that this has come to and end
*dont you feel dumb* that you made it begin
chorus
your jealously
isnt hurting me
its all inside your head
I really really want to know what was going through your head as you read this! be it good or bad. thank you! :D
hey, over all i like this... one suggestion. first of don't know if you noticed this but you said jealously.. i think you mean jealousy. at least that is what makes sense to me... I don't know any suggestions on the wording of the song. right now i don't have the time to really go through and help. i'll try sometime soon. to really read through it.
Hi cabreraluvr7
you have very good and solid start here may I suggest the following ?
Verse 1 /
Why DO you BRING yourself down
Your swimming in a jealous sea
IT'S SURE TO make you drown (still not sure about make you drown )
It's not my fault you hate me
in your MIND you need to BE FREE
Verse 3
Maybe I seem intimidating
but your the one participating
in this crazy thing you've brought up
YOUR THE ONE I USED TO CALL SWEET CUP ( not totally convinced myself )
As for chorus I would go with the first one all the way through
chers
L.K
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
hey lotto king~ I like the suggestion one the 1st verse. third I have no idea what to put. but i do like the 1st suggestion. I'll write it down and fix it later. and rejectedagain..thanx 4 pointing out my mistake. I'm not that great a speller :roll: :lol: . thanx again! but i still want to hear anything anybody else has to say. :D
