My first song attempt.....

I only found this place yesterday and I thought I would try and gather some opinions. I've been working on a couple of songs on the guitar for a while now, just some bits and pieces that I've put together really but I am no good with writing lyrics so I approached the gf who is a creative writer and she came up with the following. I think I have the chords write I am completely self taught so I don't really know. I also have chords for the chorus but they don't seem to fit the lyrics so one or the other has to change.
I'll try and get a recording up at some point providing you don't think its absolute rubbish and that I can get the female to put down some vocals :)

G
Bleary eyed, we step outside
D Em
The cabins closed its doors
G
Choose a ride, decide who drives
D Dsus4 (I think)
Who called shotgun first?

G
We sing along, we know the song
D Em
Just one more stop to make
G
Overtake, but we're never late
D Dsus4 (I think)
As long as the nights anew

Take me to the place of shadows
Take me to the place of song
Take me to the place of fire
Where rights can't be wrong

G
This is a time, we won't forget
D Em
It will stay alive in me
F
Alive in us, who else to trust
D Dsus4 (I think)
Until the summer ends

Take me to the place of shadows
Take me to the place of song
Take me to the place of fire
Where rights can't be wrong

I may need to explain the background to the song a little. There is a pub in my town where we all used to hang out and when it got to closing time we all used to jump in cars (With designated drivers) and drive up to a secluded part in the woods where we would have a camp fire and listen to music so thats where the inspiration came from really.

I'm really eager to here your thoughts on this one