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One last song for my album

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(@taylorplayer)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

I needed one last song for my album...I threw this together pretty quickly...tell me what you think and where to revise.

Verse

I have to tell you
I'm thinking about you
And I'll show you
All that I am

For now this is new love
But I wonder if my love
Could ever be
Part of your plan

Wispered secrets
Words off of your lips
Could send me so high
I'd never come down

I think of heaven
Then all that you've given
If I had my choice
I'd stay here on the ground

Chorus

Do you need me, like I need you
Like I want, to be needed
Do you see me, like I see you
I'll not leave this, uncompleted

Verse 2

For so long now
You've shown me how
In so many ways
To breath you in

Intoxicating
So liberating
This feels so good
It must be a sin

Everything I feel
Has never felt so real
I was blind for so long
But you made me see

It's never been so clear
Can't breath without you near
A life without you
Is no life for me

Repeat Chorus

Tell me what you think


   
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(@guitargeek)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 281
 

really great song, simple but effective, i like the rhyming and it flows well!


   
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(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 777
 

hi
here is a thought if you edit this and use it as your bridge :

Intoxicating
So liberating
This feels so good
It must be a sin

Intoxicating
So liberating
Intoxicating
So liberating

just a thought

cheers

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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(@taylorplayer)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

That's not a bad idea...I'll see if I can work it out with the music....thanks


   
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