i took some of those suggestions you all gave to me and rewrote the song im hoping this is better please feel free to critique me
thanks chow for now!
:wink: mystic
THEY SAY SHES A LADY
there's a lady a lonely lady
always living for her self
shadows filed away
neatly on the shelf
She doesn't care that your crying inside
she holds her head up high
she cant see threw the clouds in her eyes
they say she's a lady, but she ain't got no soul
My oh my those shadows are old
she holds onto the past, to scared to unfold
another year older, still it weighs heavy on her shoulders
into the dark she crawls, another endless night
looking for the light she can not find
an it echoes threw my head
all the words that go un said
she proudly holds her self up high
she cant see threw the clouds in her eyes
they say she's a lady, but she ain't got no soul
she holds onto the past to scared to unfold
she grows another year older
still it weighs heavy on her shoulders
into the stony ground,
she takes her burdened heart
an it echoes threw my head
all the words that went unsaid
All the words that went unsaid
Thats lovely ..
I am hearing acustic music with a nice up beat ...
Well done
Trevor
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
trevor
well it looks you guys put me on the right track,thanks for the help, i think it reads much better, although i still feel it could end better hopefully that will come to me
:wink: mystic
Have you got any music written to it :?:
What style do you envision for this :?:
The lyrics sound good..maybe a bit of editing yet but I like the theme
like I have said, I haven't written anything good for a while, its hard to get back in th groove :oops: --ken
smokindog
i havent got anything solid in mind but i am thinking it might be good in a med to heavy rock but not realy sure
what would you suggest ??
:wink: mystic
I actually like your ending ...
But its' your song ..
Trevor
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
I've had some more help on this song and wanted to post the latest version
I think its getting better.......but let me know what you think???
:wink: mystic
THEY SAY SHES A LADY
there's a lady , a lonely lady
always living for her self
shadows filed away
neatly on the shelf
She doesn't care that your crying inside
she holds her head up high
she cant see threw the clouds in her eyes
they say she's a lady, but she ain't got no soul
she grows another year older,
still it weighs heavy on her shoulders
to scared to unfold ,a past she's never told
into the shadows she crawls, another endless night
looking for the light she can not find
She doesn't care that your crying inside
she holds her head up high
she cant see threw the clouds in her eyes
they say she's a lady, but she ain't got no soul
into the stony ground,
she takes her burdened heart
an it echoes threw my head
all the words that went unsaid
an it echoes threw my head
threw my head x3
All the word that went unsaid
AND KNOW SHE'S DEAD !!
well done Mystic
Very nice
Trevor
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
"she grows another year older,
still it weighs heavy on her shoulders
to scared to unfold ,a past she's never told
into the shadows she crawls, another endless night
looking for the light she can not find"
That part I like a lot. The rest...eh...I'd have to hear it. But reading it, it doesn't have that outstanding flow of that line.
Good job though, song has potential.
hey guys
thanks again for your comments, I will keep plunking away on it, i dont play an insterment or sing so well so unfortanitly there is no recording
:wink: mystic
