Self-homicide by Joshua Lancaster (please post responses and critiques)
You mock me cause I'm better than you
You scorn me cause I let my emotion show through
Crimson red, I'll kill myself all for the sake of you
I'm not ready for a razor, but I've still got a knife
I'm ready to end this misery, ready to lose this strife
You want me to be gone, I'm gonna leave this place
Come tomorrow, I'll finish this race
I finally tell you how I really feel
This pain is too much, not possibly real
You rejected my thoughts and threw words like stones
Satan wait for me, I'm comin home.
my life have i watched being sucked down the drain. producing black fruit, filled with much pain. no hope for the future, no joy in the past, my only prayer is that death will come fast!
hey joshua pretty moody stuff. liked it man. first it felt like muse and towards the end more like some nu-metal (lp, etc.). sorry for my comparisions though. hate them myself. so, good work anyway. one suggestion, don't give away "Satan" directly in the last line. instead use something symbolic.
Um, seems very little depressing...guess that was your point tho, never really did like emo.
The first time I heard a Beatles song was "Let It Be." Some little kid was singing along with it: "Let it pee, let it pee" and pretending he was taking a leak. Hey, that's what happened, OK?-some guy
this doesn't have to be emo, my favorite part about it is it is actually pretty authentic, and I tihnk it does give a slightly different edge to this subject.
But it is not poetic, it is very literal and direct. So although songs like these are extremely comforting and draining to write, the point will not get across to another person. If you make it less specific, and more ambiguous, more epople can absorb it.
I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!
you know, there's a word for self-homicide. its suicide. u probably knew that but i had to point it out it was tickling me
Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire/ Stand here until I hear all your heart's desires/
/Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn/ And do back all it did to you in return - Coldplay
