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START OF NEW SONG.....
 
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START OF NEW SONG.....

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(@aerynk-mcavan)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 33
Topic starter  

Do I go into how much they loved their significant other? Or how glad they are that its over?

GUESS I DIDNT DO ENOUGH
I SHOULD'VE PUT MORE HOURS IN THE DAY
MAYBE THEN YOU WOULDN'T OF WALKED AWAY
I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU?
WHO DRIED YOUR EYES AND HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH THE
NIGHT OH BABY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

I WAS HURTIN SO DEEP
I HATED LIFE WHO I WAS
WANTED YOU BACK
I LOVED YOU SO-O MUCH

(CHORUS)
HAD I JUST FORGOTTEN WHO I WAS
WHO I WANTED TO BE
WOULD YOU BE SITTIN HERE BESIDE ME
IF I REVOLVED MY WORLD AROUND YOU
WOULD YOU STILL BE HOLDING ONTO
WHO I FORGOT TO BE?

You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
Life is not about what I've done, what I should've done, what I could've done. Its about what I can do and what I will do.


   
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 Mike
(@mike)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2892
 

Not a bad start, I like what you have for the most part. Little tweaking of lines here and there........
WOULD YOU STILL BE HOLDING ONTO
WHO I FORGOT TO BE?

I LOVE that line! That line says SO much! :D

I'd like to hear/see the final draft.

Mike


   
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(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 777
 

Hi AerynK.McAvan

This is a very good start ... am very interested in your final draft of this ..

You might say I'm being picky but Caps means your yelling , I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be screamed ...

keep up the writting

L.K

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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