an attempt at a country song...
Macleay River
Well I met her at a party across town
And everything else seemed turned down
And when I followed her tagging along
I knew everything I'd been told was wrong
We had a fling that I'll always wish for
And when she left me, then I hit the floor
And she headed up north again, leaving me lonely
For the Macleay River valley
When I followed I stopped at a town
I asked her name and was directed around
But she'd gone north still, heading to Tamworth
So I followed my nose and went on north
On arrival at the Peel River city, late at night
I went to a bar and found the tip was right
She'd gone east, down to Port Macquarie
A short trip south from the Macleay River valley
And following the trusty Pacific I found a trace
But that all left when I started showing your face
In the old photo I still kept in my pocket
A million miles from the Macleay River valley
lois: 'Chris, women are not objects!'
peter: 'Your mother's right son, listen to what it says.'
You might have something there, but what happened at the end? You never found her? If so, you might want to throw that in there for some closer to the song.
Keep on writing,
Mike
plooky
I have to agree with mike
I was left woundering what happened to everyone
but you do have a great start :D
Mystic :wink:
well, thats the thing of it...
i dont know what happens yet and i can't think of a good way to say that, so i thought the final verse was delibrately vague in that respect...
to be honest, i can't think of how to finish... just leaving it unfinished i think captures the mood i was in at the time, frustrated i couldnt find the girl no matter how hard i looked
anyway, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
cheers!
lois: 'Chris, women are not objects!'
peter: 'Your mother's right son, listen to what it says.'
Well, your song is about getting closer and closer.
Now, you are further than you could ever imagine because you know there won't be an end in site, unless........ you stop looking. This might take some thought as to how you want to go about doing it.
What went through your head when you finally realized that you two were never going to meet again?
Mike
dull resent really...
but yeah, i think you may be on to something there about the way to finish it, find a way to say i stopped looking, stopped trying but still have some hope of getting lucky with my search...
really though, i'd like to hope that one day the guy in the song can find what he's been chasing
lois: 'Chris, women are not objects!'
peter: 'Your mother's right son, listen to what it says.'
I think it's good, also. In fact if I might be so bold...
I'm not sure I'm capturing the tempo, pace and accents but based on everyone's eval I thought I'd try and run a 'finis' by you. I don't think it's smooth but might give you a basis to work from...
And following the trusty Pacific I found a trace
Stopped cold in my tracks, I stopped showing your face
In the old photo I now keep in my pocket
She's gone, I'm million miles from the Macleay River valley
Bish
"I play live as playing dead is harder than it sounds!"
