I don't expect anyone to like it, but i'll try :lol:
The Sound Of Time
I
I sitt in a dark room
watching the colors of my mind
as my thoughts float away
and then I suddenly realize
I
I'm all alone
The sound of time keeps me alive
as I wait for the sun to rise
and the birds to fly, above the skies
that are so beautifull, they could hypnotize
But something was wrong
as I opened my eyes, and all it all was black
no birds that sing
or beautifull skies
I could no longer hear
the sound of time
The world is beautifull
I understand it now
as I watch you all
from above the skies
Real bad, or just bad?
:D
Jimmy Page is the man!
Someone could at least tell me that i suck!
Jesus.
:lol:
Jimmy Page is the man!
NAH YOU DON'T SUCK MAN
AND EITHER DO YOUR LYRICS
MAYBE YOU HAVE GOB SMACKED EVERYONE?
I THOUGHT THIS WORK WAS OKAY
EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN WAY EXPRESSING THEMSELVES AND I GUESS YOU HAVE JUST PUT A MASTER PIECE OUT THERE
COOL SONG I LIKE IT
WRITE ON MAN
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
I think you have a good start here...
I love the concept of realizing how great creation can be...only it took your death to realize it as you look from above.
It just seemed to have a little problem with flow.
In verse 2 you talk about how beautiful they could hypnotize (Which I think is a cool line) but later on you say that you understand it now that the world is beautiful.
Maybe you could set it up that the world, while you were living seemed empty, etc. a little more. It would also help with the length of the song. It seemed short to me.
I definately think you have some good stuff to work with here!
Keep up the writing!
Greg
I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was - White Goodman (Dodgeball)
Thanks!
In verse 2 you talk about how beautiful they could hypnotize (Which I think is a cool line) but later on you say that you understand it now that the world is beautiful.
Maybe you could set it up that the world, while you were living seemed empty, etc. a little more. It would also help with the length of the song. It seemed short to me.
Hm, your right, ill se what i can do :) I didnt really think about that ;)
Jimmy Page is the man!
