hey everyone. so here is another set of lyrics. they are complte this time...i think. i might still make some changes if i get feedback. so ya theres no chorus but i like it that way. I have the basic chords and melody and im kind of hearing it going in a my bloody valentine direction. the lyrics are kinda weird so u guys should ask about them if u have questions.
I gaze down, with lovesick longing eyes
breath deep, the languid night
I let go, bury myself, deep within your touch
ohhh bittersweet, never meant so much
I gaze down, with teardrop laden eyes
breath deep, sport the guise
ring around your finger, bond of life, love, my loss
pretend not to see, pretend to shake it off
I fall down and hide myself, in the memory of your touch
ohhh blanket me, memories are not enough
languid nights grow stormy, beating heart grows cold
Lovesick eyes grow weary, this beating heart grows old
ok well thats it i guess. i hope they are not to terrible
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” -John Greenleaf Whittier
Welcome man I like your song man its good :D :D
thanks man. but what can i do to impove it?
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” -John Greenleaf Whittier
make it longer :lol: it is short but its perfect the way it is :D Write a chorus maybe
ok ill get on that. thanks
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” -John Greenleaf Whittier
c'mon anyone else hae anything besides make it longer? what else did i do wrong? there has to be somthing
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” -John Greenleaf Whittier
Nothing is wrong with the song man :D
lol im flattered. thats a pretty big compliment considering the fact that i just started writing. also im working on the vocal melody so i should have a demo up on here soon
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” -John Greenleaf Whittier
i really like the way each verse shows the change in emotion, maybe you could make a one or two line bridge/chorus to emphasise the passage of time between each verse as well? add something else for people to relate to or to be drawn into the song with
ya i was working on that just tonight. i wrote a verse that im putting as the very first verse. i think it should ahve 2 more verses with some kind of bridge/chorus hook interwoven through it. i recorded the melody on guitar against some chords yestrerday and showed some people and they all liked it alot so i think its shaping up to be an ok song.
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” -John Greenleaf Whittier
