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your partner , how do they deal with you playing guitar

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(@aaronj)
Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 32
 

He's not really my spouse, but my dad is kind of unsupportive of my guitarplaying. He thinks it takes away from my schoolwork, even though my grades haven't changed a bit and maybe have even improved. BTW welcome to guitarnoise, AaronJ! :)
Thanks for the welcome yoyo! 8)

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(@kachman)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 155
 

When I started playing last year, my girlfriend at the time was really supportive. I know I must have sounded really bad, but she always looked at the good side and praised me for any little improvement. Everytime she was over she required that I play for her - which was great cos I wanted to anyway. Too bad we had other differences and broke up.

I'm dating someone else now and I see where you're coming from. Every time I pick up my guitar I notice her body movements getting all irritated. She doesn't hide the fact that she's jealous of my guitar - always makes comments about how i'm dating it and stuff. This isn't good cos now I'm back in touch with my old supportive ex via email and keep her informed of my progress as we're still kinda friends - and she's still encouraging and supportive.

Anyway, outside my guitar playing, I've broken down both their personalities, and my girlfriend now is really the selfish, pay attention to me and nothing else type, while my more supportive ex is the real partner type, like "here's whats going on in my life, support me, what's going on in your's and how can I help?"

So I guess its all about maturity and generousity. And yeah, I guess a beginner messing around can sound annoying - so add patience to that.

http://www.myspace.com/kachman


   
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(@off-he-goes)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1259
 

My last girlfriend was all for the guitar, but that is because she has a "thing" for guitar players. She was supportive and used to love it when I played for her.

The girl I've got my eye on now is a fellow musician so she thinks its great. In fact we're thinking about performing together next week. She was at a party here last week and thought it was awesome when I started playing, and she was in the spring musical with, and we preformed a song together. Her musical nature though, is half the reason i'm interested.

From what I can gather, unless you are the worst guitar player in the world, or don't neglect your partner for your guitar, they usually don't have a problem with it.

Vacate is the word...Vengance has no place on me or her...Cannot find a comfort in this world.


   
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(@blackzerogsh)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 759
 

Well no girlfiend at the moment, but my mom has warned that she might break my guitar soon and she threatened to kcik me out of the house one time (jokingly i hope) My whole family agees that the only thing I've been making so far is "ugly electrical sounds" they've yet to define it as music


   
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(@nwoodgirl)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 48
 

This is a great posting. I am fortunate that my husband is supportive of my guitar playing. I do, however, try and do most of my practicing when he is at work and the kids are at school. I is important to have hobbies. Music and the guitar have become part of who I am and I am sure I am not alone in feeling this way. I would feel quite rejected if the support was not there as that is me. My husband doesn't come to all of my practices with my band, but he does go to our performances and helps with set up and runs the sound. I have a friend that used to play with my band whos wife used to make him play his guitar in the basement without the amp on. She attended one of our shows and after said "Hey, I didn't know he could play like that!" Poor guy.


   
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(@mr-mervyn)
Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 23
 

My girlfriend loves to listen to me play, she even finds it kind of sexy. I've managed to teach her how to almost play "Hurt" and "Blister in the sun." She's never been upset about me playing to much, but she does mock my small reportoire... but it's all in good fun. All I can say is that I hope they come around for those of you with partners that don't appreciate it.

Cheers

Cheers.

Better shred than dead.


   
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 300m
(@300m)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 339
 

MY wife is very supportive of all my habbits :). She likes my playing and supports my doing so at night so long as I shut down when my daughter goes to bed. It helps when you have support for your playing.

John M


   
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(@david-m1)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 122
 

My wife comes from a family of musicians, so I think she grew up hearing guitars, pianos, and all sorts of instruments playing in the background, so in that sense she was somewhat used to it by the time we met, but my playing abilities are still not quite up to par. When I first started playing I think it was harder for her to put up with but as I improve she is becoming a lot more tolerant, there are still times she wishes I would put it down, but on a whole I think she is great for putting up with all my noise.
Whats cool is when I can tell she is enjoying it, sometimes she'll be laying on the couch, and I'll strumm some really soft mellow tune, and look over and she's sleeping like a baby... I feel great like my music soothed her to sleep, it cant be too bad I guess :)


   
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(@mikey)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 329
 

I joke about buying an electric guitar in January of 2004 as my midlife crisis but that I couldn't afford the Corvette convertible.

My wife has been nothing but supportive of my playing from day 1 when I must have sounded lousy (I've played before so I knew my way around the fretboard a bit). I kept at it for a year, improved dramatically, and my wife rewarded my dedication with a Epi Les Paul Standard for Chanumas (a mixture of Chanukah and Christmas).

I can't imagine progressing a fraction of what I have without her support.

Michael

Playing an instrument is good for your soul


   
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(@rockerman)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 219
 

what a great toppic, my gf cant stand me playing guitar, this just happened yesterday afternoon, i was practicing, and when i finished, i laid my guitar on the bed and fell asleep next to it lol, she walks in and say "omg, now your sleeping with the f#*kin thing, you never pay attention to me anymore, you a## hole" i told her if she could play like steve via, she would get all my attention, this did not go over to well, she got ticked and left, still hasn"t came home lol. so i figgure its the guitar or her, foxy gf or guitar, hello les paul.


   
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(@crank-n-jam)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1206
 

My girlfriend bought my first guitar so I guess that says it all. She does, however, get a little annoyed sometimes with the amount of time I spend practicing. Since I'm still not that good, I spare her by playing with headphones on most of the time.

She also supports my love of blues. She goes to the local bars with me to check out our local blues bands. She doesn't like it all that much, so it means a lot to me that she goes and acts like she is enjoying herself. :D

"Rock And Roll Ain't Noise Pollution"


   
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(@teleplayer324)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1506
 

I guess it was my wife who was having the mid life crisis. Last year she decided to take up guitar, she supports me fully but does fly off the handle sometimes saying I make it look so dam easy while she struggles through something. It's funny, one of my friends can show her something and she takes the advice with a smile, but when I try to show her the same exact thing I'm being critical. Women, go figure :lol:

Immature? Of course I'm immature Einstein, I'm 50 and in a Rock and ROll band.

New Band site http://www.myspace.com/guidedbymonkeys


   
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(@rockerman)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 219
 

tele, i try not to figure them out, cause when i do, i might as well through it in the garbage.

p.s. dont ever fall asleep with your axe, the hell you will go through is unreal.


   
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(@lava-man)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 67
 

My wife and I have been married for ten years and I have played in several bands during that time, worked as a live sound engineer (sometimes she would help me with this) and now I just perform at a weekly blues jam - it our agreed time for me to go out and play my guitar.

If your girlfriend or wife really loves and cares about you they will support your guitar playing as long as it does not become more imortant than them in thier eyes, and then watch out because this can create problems...

Lava Man
http://www.lavacable.com


   
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(@wes-inman)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5582
 

Oh, I could go on forever on this one. Really.

I'm seeing a pattern here. 1st wife/girlfriend hated the guitar, 2nd wife/girlfriend likes the guitar. So it does matter.

I am no different. My 1st wife at first liked the guitar (bought me a Les Paul our first Christmas), but somewhere along the line became very resentful and jealous. She even broke a couple! :D I remember telling her once, "I was playing guitar before I met you, and I'll be playing after you're gone". That came true, so be careful what you say.

The 2nd Mrs. has been far more supportive as long as I keep the volume down.

I see it like this. If you love to play the guitar (or paint, write poetry, etc...) and your significant other doesn't like it, THEN THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. I cannot really seperate myself from the guitar. All my life I have loved music and had a deep desire to play instruments and perform. It is not a passing flirtation with me. IT IS WHO I AM. And I bet that most on here can say that.

I have often wondered why someone would be jealous of the guitar. I can see it if you are neglecting your relationship or family duties. But if you are giving attention to your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend and they are still jealous, then they are the one with the problem. Perhaps your abilities and talents make them feel insecure. Perhaps they are worried that you will become popular and attract the opposite sex (this one can be true).

But if you are giving love and attention to your significant other and not fooling around, they need to straighten out. Something has to give. Either you will give up the guitar, or you will give them up. And according to all the posts I've read (including mine), the guitar seems to be winning! 8)

If you know something better than Rock and Roll, I'd like to hear it - Jerry Lee Lewis


   
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