First Original Song: Updated: A Honeymoon in the Sky

That was really cool Taso. I like that little thing you got going in the beginning but I LOVE the solo that starts just after the silence. That was way cool.

Geoo

I'm digging it. Love the long silence. Really adds emotion. :lol:

Jason

Sounds pretty good Taso. Now you need some lyrics to go with it. :D Got a nice ballad thing going on there.

Sounds like something you'd hear in a movie. One of those sequences when they are showing many different things about the actor to catch us up on what's been going on or something. It also sounds very American Beauty like (at least that's the first movie that came to mind).

Good stuff! Thanks for sharing!

Jason

Love the long silence. Really adds emotion.

I can't agree more! Great soloing too!

The on going riff sounds really familiar and in the beginning the other riff sounded like a muddy acoustic, but that was cleaned up later towards the solo part.

All in all, great job, but I would change the beginning part to reflect the later parts riff (i.e. the muddy one (acoustic?) back to the clean electric).

Thats cool 8) You have a future in the movies :D I really liked it--the dog

Thanks for the kind words everyone

Geo, Crank, thanks! Kind of cliche, but I like it too!

TF, where do you think the words would go? Some people have told me it doesn't need words, when I asked them, others feel the way you do. I'm just not sure I can put words to this one. Thanks for the comment!

Gotta agree Crank, I felt the same way! Not sure if I like that or not, lol.

Tracker, thanks! As we talked about it, I can hear what you are talking about. I may try to re-record it, but I'm not sure whether I like that aspect or not. Thanks for the suggestion.

Smokin', thanks a bunch!

Any further comments/suggestions/criticism appreciated! This can be a good learning experience for me.

Taso

TF, where do you think the words would go? Some people have told me it doesn't need words, when I asked them, others feel the way you do. I'm just not sure I can put words to this one. Thanks for the comment!

It's fine as an instrumental as well. But I could hear some possibilities during the riff after the intro etc. Best advice is go with how you feel about it.

I think it sounds great. I think it would ruin the flow and emotion by adding words. Says a lot as an instrumental with good variety.

I also agree that no words are necessary. Doesn't strike me as the type of song that needs them. It kinda has it's own way of telling you the story (does that make sense?). :P

Jason

Taso: cool stuff, espescially the solo. What you might want to do:

-Record it to a metronome/click track. If you do that you can easily add drums afterwards. I can put some basic drumloops on it if you can give me the BPM of the song. Same with bass, if it is rhythmically tight you can easily program a simple bass loop under it. That gives the song more structure and allows the guitar to wander around a bit more.

-Put words to it. If you want I can put some words to it to give an idea, but only if you promise never to show it to anyone else. :P Seriously, this song can easily have words added to it.

This song really has potential but espescially the beginning is rather bland. With drums, bass and vocals to it, followed by the solo with bass and drums you can really spice it up.

In short: a nice song as it is now, potential to become a great song.

Although must of you seem to be saying no words are neccesary, I'm still considering it.

Arjen: I have a friend that plays the drums, and we've played together a few times in the past month. I sent him this song, and another song I'm going to post here in a few minutes. He's working out a rhythm now (he's an amazing drummer, great that he only lives literally 3 minutes from me)

He also has put lots of money (over a thousand) into recording equipment...So, once he gets himself on track (probably this weekend) we're going to try and record some stuff. With the drums, it should all come together a lot better. I have two friends that play bass, I'm sure one of them would be happy to come and do a bass line or two ;)

I would definitly appreciate you putting some words to it to give me an idea. I have no idea how to go about it, meaning I wouldn't know how to sing it. With other songs I've covered, I know how to sing the lines, because I've heard them sung before, ya know? This is going to be a problem for the other song I've finished, and I have two others I'm working on that are near completion.

I agree about the "blandness" although, I don't think it's too bad...Izzy reminded me that the verses don't all have to be the same. I remember when I did Black Magic Woman, I changed the verses just a little bit, each time. I might do that with this, and the other song I'm going to post. Yeah, the bass and the drums will definitly help. I also want a keyboard and a sax, but I don't think that will be possible. Maybe the sax (for another song, havn't thought of it for this one), but I don't know any good pianists at my school.

Anyways!

Thanks for the comments and suggestions everyone.

Arjen, let me know how you want to go about giving me some ideas :)

Any further comments/suggestions are welcome.

Taso

That's just the kind of thing we want to start doing here :D 8) I cant wait to hear the results--the dog

i think its great as is, drums would be cool, but dont put vocals in just to put them him, only do if you have a deeling or emotion you feel with it you can get out with words

very very very sweet

the first part is far from bland, but you definatly need to add drums, maybe overdrive and bar chords, after the silence for that heavy feeling i get when i listen to it

take my comment and everyone else with a grain of salt after all it is your song

very very cool