Free butchering of your own original songs offered [OPEN]

I'm down.

ww.taso.dmusic.com

Piece of Junk

:lol: I know you've listened, but now you're being upheld by your claim to tear it apart. Gonna redo it soon, so your brutally honest opinion would be great.

coming from an art student background I am used to rough critiques. critique is the correct word. it is an honest, often subjective, positive and negative review of the work.
I have found here that most everyone is too kind. when I have something to say I put it in supportive terms, wiether it is negative or positive.
I can take negative. as long as it is in the form of a critique and not just slamming for meanness.
but, like I say, there is no mean-ness on this forum. I like that.

Sleutelbos, if you want to critique my work please write it as you feel it. I can take it.
I wont be posting tunes on this thread. but when you do respond on Hear Here...yea, hit me. :)

critques are important. although our work is personal, a critque should never be taken personally. it is constructive and helpful so our work can improve.

When your done with my song will you kick me in the groin as well? :lol:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=490569&songID=5574616

I bet you can't butcher it ....

The buther did it :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ohhh kiddies don't listen it's a bit rude

Trev

Taso - Piece of Junk

Right from the start Taso makes it clear that he is not shooting for the 'most original song of the year' award with this eight minute long bluestune. We're dealing with a fairly standard 'band', with drums and bass providing the background and the guitar and vocals laying over it. This has probably been done about two billion times before, so let's see how it's performed this time.

Starting with the backing the first problem is encountered: the bass is extremely repetitive. Pretty much regardless of what the drums and guitar are doing the bass just keep walking up and down effectively leveling the song, making it more flat then it could or even should be. The drums are kinda okay but can't make up for the bass.

Next up are the vocals. Vocals are always tought to critique, judging the tone of one's voice is nothing but subjective. In my opinion your voice has the tone that's needed. Added to that there is no problem with timing and phrasing. However, when you go from 'talking'to 'singing' you seem to lose a lot of confidence and at times seem to run out of mental energy while deciding how to sing a certain phrase. Too bad, but nothing some practice won't fix. Probably singing the whole song ten times through will clear that up.

What's left is the guitar, which is ofcourse what you do best. The rather pedestrian tempo of the song seems to open up the way for Claptonesque licks, reminded me of his 'have you ever loved a woman?' way of playing. At first the guitar is just setting the song up, but it seems somewhat misplaced and out of time, plus it's hardly exciting enough to keep the attention the first thirty seconds. After that things improve and after a while the playing is simply good and enjoyable. Sounded like you were less thinking and more playing and the freshness is readily apparant.

Conclusion: Fix the bass, practice some parts of the vocals a bit more and set the timing issues of the guitar straight. If that's all done we might be facing the best blues tune on GN so far, and certainly the longest one. Way to go! So let's score this tune, remember that it's all subjective. ;)

[score]
Originality: Well, what do you think? 0/3
Production: Bass is kinda lame, drum sounds okay, guitartone kicks ass, vocals are clear. 3/5
Performance: Tickle me all you want but I think the guitarperformance is simply good. 8/10
Fun-factor: I can easily listen to it but the imperfections keep the song at 'nice'. 6/10
Final score: Still a work in progress and already a decent score. Fix the bass, focus on the tricky vocal bits and get it all lined up and the score will go higher. For now you're stuck at a very respectable 61%.

Hilch - Miss Muphet

Next up is an accoustic offering of Hilch AKA Barnabus. From his past work it's clear we;re dealing with a singer/songwriter in the tradition of days long gone. There is an explicit lyrics warning on the page but don't let that stop you from listening, I'm sure we all hear worse when walking the streets every day. So what exactly is this new song? Basically we're dealing with a guitar playing a smooth chord progression plus a vocal track telling the tale of Miss Muphet. Let's just take a look at both parts.

The guitar consists basically of two parts, the intro and the rest. Truth be told the intro is okayish but seems to be somewhat out of time plus it doesn't really lead to the verse in a strong and determined way. The rest of the song consists mostly of strummed diatonic chords, and it's clear that you're making progress on your rhythm guitar. It's smooth and in-time enough to be functional, which is what the rhythm guitar should be.

The vocals are a mixed bag as well. On one hand the tone of the voice probably wouldn't carry an opera too well nor does it have the smoothness of most contemporary pop and rock music. On the other hand it goes okay with this type of music (Lou Reed, Bob Dylan, you name the gang) and again there is clear progress when compared with earlier offerings.

Unfortunately the song itself is kinda lacking in variation. There's simply not much happening at all after the intro which means that the vocals have to carry the song. ANd while there definitely is progress in the vocal department I think the song would greatly benefit from some basic licks thrown in between, or maybe some bluesharp.

[score]
Originality: Tricky. The lyrics are original but the music and melodies themselves are rather standard. 1/3
Production: Getting better, but still somewhat sub-par. 2/5
Performance: The guitar performance is nice for what it does, the vocals need more of the progress you're showing. 5/10
Fun-factor: I didn't have the urge to turn it off but it sounds somewhat unfinished. Even the mildest variation could really do wonders here. It's not that the basic idea is bad but there's more to be done with it. 4/10
Final score: Make the intro a bit more interesting, add either some guitar licks or an extra instrument and keep up the vocal practice, it's paying off. Don't be discouraged by the score, keep working and it'll be higher in the future. 43%

TR: please drop a link or atleast the songtitle. :D

i like this thread. i wish i had a song to be butchered....

i'd give Miss Muphet a higher score than 41%. There's just something about it that i liked a lot. it was funny,

OK Arjen ..... Here is an oldie but goodie for you to tear apart. :D

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=225776&songID=1559566

Alright.

http://www.box.net/shared/p3zepz2g8e

Do it up. I ain't afraid.

Don't make fun of Jimmy, my drum machine.

hey Arjen. in an effort to keep this thread going, I have for you all "Meteor".

click on the blue line below...BTW, I do not know how to put up just the one song
for you to click on..
it is not that I am lazy.

Meteor

I am overdriving a small old amp. it's name plate has a meteor on it.
tele and strat straight in.

Here's a link right to the track:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=644552&songID=5579379

On your artist page, the track name is linked to a page just for that song (even though it doesn't "look like" a link). You can right-click to copy/paste it or just go to that page and copy/paste it from the URL bar.

I dig it - guitar is really solid and something about the tone sounds very "real" to me. I'm not sure how else to describe it, but the same way an acoustic feels "authentic" or something. Nice job.

TRGuitar - Down in Brier Hill

Another blues-based offering, this one being fairly rock 'n roll'ish and up-tempo. Those looking for originality probably better stay clear of this one, but then again, blues and blues-based music doesn't rely too much on innovation. The 'band' seems to consist of a drumcomputer, bass-guitar and two electric guitar tracks.

To start with the worst, the drum samples aren't that catchy. They sound rather thin and lifeless and have the typical 'keybord drum' vibe. Some compression on the kick and overal EQ'ing could probably do wonders here. The bass-guitar is functional. Even though it's sometimes out of time it's never really disturbing, plus the notes played all fit nicely into the song.

The guitars are a mixed bag. The overdriven one has a fairly agressive rock feel to it and serves as a very nice platform to solo over. On the downside it's fairly repetitive and could use some fills here and there. The cleaner lead-guitar also has it's pro cons. In general the phrasing is very nice and it's a textbook example of using the pentatonic scale in bluesrock. On the downside quite a few bends are off. Tone is always subjective but the lead-tone could use some more balls IMHO. Slight compression and a 2ms delay would really spice things up.

The vocals aren't really the center of the song but they sit there nicely. Judging the voice is tough, sometimes it's just fine the way it is, sometimes it has a tendency to sound a tad 'whiny', for lack of a better term. In any case I believe the vocal part is good enough in that it adds more then it costs, plus it helps break the song into different segments.

[score]
Originality: As with 'Piece of Junk' there isn't much that pretends to be original 0/3
Production: Mixed bag. The drums are not up to par, the bass, vocals and lead guitar sound okay, the rhythm guitar sounds good. The overal mix isn't that good though and the track could really use some finishing touches and soundshaping. 2.5/5
Performance: If the some of those bands wouldn't have been off and the overal tightness would be better I could give more points here. For now it still stands at a respectable 6.5/10
Fun-factor: Hard to say. I'm a big fan of blues and rock n roll so this kind of music is right up my alley. However, because of that I've come to expect a certain freshness and spontanity which in such music compensates for the missing originality. It's not a bad song by any means and I kinda enjoyed listening to it, but all in all I give it a 5.5/10 for now.
Final score: For now it doesn't score what it potentially could, but with some extra attention it could gain quite a bit more. 52%.

Just did a remix on this one Arjen. Grab the magnifying glass and the zircon encrusted tweezers to pick this one apart!

Voice of the Rose