Free butchering of your own original songs offered [OPEN]

Hey arjen, hope you had a blast on your holiday :D This is a fun thread. I don't have anything new to post, but I may post something I have already done for kicks :D

OK Have at it :D Jim couch did the vox and harp. I wrote this on the fly on my brother-in laws front porch a few years ago.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=213596&songID=3339489

Thanks mate

A honest review of something that was thrown together for you to cast your eyes over .

Appreciate the fact you were quite open and said it how it trely is , how ever I am a little disappointed not to reach 50% though .

I thought if I could get a pass mark it would be worth persuing this futher ..

Pearl thanks for the vote of confidence appreciate the fact it was seen as fun as that was how it was intended ..

Trev

Hey dude what did you think of the Prelude song in detail? I myself think that the take could be better though it is pretty good now. The tempo changes could be a little better and there are a few notes that I don't quite get a clear sustain when I meant to.

its at http://www.myspace.com/deepfreeze123 I have some other new stuff im working on for a CD ill be putting more stuff up in the next few months.

I'd love some honest feedback. I just posted my first original song, "The Bridge," at
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=725941
I've got several critiques of my own already, but I won't spoil your fun.
Thanks for your help.

Skei.Karpe

Just would like to hear a critique of this. Usually when I play this for someone I get the deer in the headlights look or what the f#*! was that.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=517123

Trama to the groin boys trama to the groin! Brutally honest Arjen but accurate if I do say so. 8) Thank you!

Taso - Piece of Junk

Right from the start Taso makes it clear that he is not shooting for the 'most original song of the year' award with this eight minute long bluestune. We're dealing with a fairly standard 'band', with drums and bass providing the background and the guitar and vocals laying over it. This has probably been done about two billion times before, so let's see how it's performed this time.

Starting with the backing the first problem is encountered: the bass is extremely repetitive. Pretty much regardless of what the drums and guitar are doing the bass just keep walking up and down effectively leveling the song, making it more flat then it could or even should be. The drums are kinda okay but can't make up for the bass.

Next up are the vocals. Vocals are always tought to critique, judging the tone of one's voice is nothing but subjective. In my opinion your voice has the tone that's needed. Added to that there is no problem with timing and phrasing. However, when you go from 'talking'to 'singing' you seem to lose a lot of confidence and at times seem to run out of mental energy while deciding how to sing a certain phrase. Too bad, but nothing some practice won't fix. Probably singing the whole song ten times through will clear that up.

What's left is the guitar, which is ofcourse what you do best. The rather pedestrian tempo of the song seems to open up the way for Claptonesque licks, reminded me of his 'have you ever loved a woman?' way of playing. At first the guitar is just setting the song up, but it seems somewhat misplaced and out of time, plus it's hardly exciting enough to keep the attention the first thirty seconds. After that things improve and after a while the playing is simply good and enjoyable. Sounded like you were less thinking and more playing and the freshness is readily apparant.

Conclusion: Fix the bass, practice some parts of the vocals a bit more and set the timing issues of the guitar straight. If that's all done we might be facing the best blues tune on GN so far, and certainly the longest one. Way to go! So let's score this tune, remember that it's all subjective. ;)

[score]
Originality: Well, what do you think? 0/3
Production: Bass is kinda lame, drum sounds okay, guitartone kicks donkey, vocals are clear. 3/5
Performance: Tickle me all you want but I think the guitarperformance is simply good. 8/10
Fun-factor: I can easily listen to it but the imperfections keep the song at 'nice'. 6/10
Final score: Still a work in progress and already a decent score. Fix the bass, focus on the tricky vocal bits and get it all lined up and the score will go higher. For now you're stuck at a very respectable 61%.
Thanks Arjen, very accurate and fair, appreciate it. Gonna respond to you though, maybe ask some questions.

I agree about the bass. My biggest problem was that I was doing it all on Midi file, not playing it myself, so there wasnt' room to have the bass improvise. I'd really much rather have gone with the Cream/Jack Bruce effect, but my own skills on bass aren't anywhere near there, they're almost non existant actually. I may try it though, now that I have a bass. I'd need you to send me the drum track on its own if you'd be willing, and then I'd lay down the bass and guitar and vocals again.

I agree about the vocals as well. Not confident in my singing, as everyone here knows, and I can hear that change that you refer to between the different parts. I had only done it maybe 2-3 times, so I will practice it a bit and re-record.

Thanks - I agree again, the guitar is boring for the most part until the improv. Really, that's the only reason I write any songs, as a means to jump off into improvisation. Much like Cream I suppose, that's all that interests me.

Will record again after talking with you more on MSN. Also, Hope you're ready for the new one I'm working on - a bit more varried too than the last, albeit still a blues song.

notice
Getting overwhelmed with requests can be rather unmotivating, so I'm closing the list for the time being. This way I can take my time in peace, will open the list again when the current requests are done. On the list right now:

Elpantella - Out of the Pavement
Dogbite - Meteor
Moonrider - Void of the Rose
Da dog - Whiskey Slide
DNeck - Prelude
Jew Templar - The Bridge
Cringe - Skei.karpe

Any songs posted after this will be ignored!
Appreciate the fact you were quite open and said it how it trely is , how ever I am a little disappointed not to reach 50% though. I thought if I could get a pass mark it would be worth persuing this futher...

Don't get the scoring system wrong, it's not about passing a certain mark or getting a 'sufficient grade'. Music is a journey, and a particularly long and mysterious one. When you started a few years ago you were at 0%, where a few billion people on this planet still are. Right this moment, based on one song, you score an average of 43% as a guitarist, vocalist, producer, composer and arranger. So what does this mean? Are you talentless? Should you quiet? Is all hope lost? No ofcourse not. All this means is that you managed to learn 43% until now, and you've got a few decades to go to improve.

As a general rule of the thumb it takes ten years of daily structured and focussed practicing to reach a certain level of mastery on an instrument. You haven't been going for ten years and I'm sure you have some responsibilities in your life beyond guitar and music. Besides, I'm not just judging you as a guitarist, but also as a vocalist, producer, composer and arranger. To put it very simple, no matter how talented you might be it is simply unreasonable to expect too much too fast.

Personally I like the 10%/year rule, so if you've been playing for 4.5 years or so you're right on schedule. If you've been playing a bit longer then you'll reach mastery a few years later. Big deal.

Don't get me wrong my friend

I really appreciate what your doing in this thread ,

My previous post was a bit of tongue in cheek { sorry }

But now you have explained it for everyone :)

Trev

Looks like Arjen has found a full time job :D Hmmmm, you know people do make a living at this sort of thing :idea: :lol:

Elpantella - Out of the Pavement

Next up is this tune by Elpantella. Having seen his avatar and heared a cover of the Stripes of him I was curious to hear whether his music would be influenced by them and the answer is clearly yes, 'OOTP' could be best described as Indie Rock meets White Stripes. A fat and overdriven pulse is kept throughout the song, with vocals and big chords taking turns adding to the drive.

Fitting very nicely with the song is a rather basic, almost primitive, drumbeat that keeps the song going forward. The samples aren't great but do suffice. Again some processing might work, with some cuts on the guitar and comp on the drums it could probably get a bit more balls while gaining some clarity. A second thing that could be improved on is the somewhat minimalistic song structure. An extra bridge or instrumental part might have kept the song a bit more fresh at the end.

The vocals are hard to rate as it's more talking then singing. Those who've heared some of my tunes know I'm big on 'musical talking' and the tone of the voice is very nice. It's all performed with confidence and at times a rather tongue-in-cheek pronounciation. All in all it gives it a nice 'party' atmosphere, I can see this song being quite popular at college parties. The guitar solos are a mixed bag for me. I'm not too keen on the sound at all and at times you seem at the edge of your ability. On the other hand it does sound fresh and alive, which is what's in the end most imortant to me.

[score]
Originality: Fairly original, although the influences are readily apparant. 1.5/3
Production: Tough. On itself the track is produced nicely and it has the growl and bite it needs. Howerver it's a bit on the muddy side and some further EQ'ing to give each track more space wouldn't hurt. Drumsamples might benefit from an upgrade as well. 3/5
Performance: On itself not a complex song to play but it's well executed nevertheless. The 'backing' is tight, vocals are well done and the solo is organic, while being fairly rough. 7/10
Fun-factor: Enjoyable to say the least. With a bit more variation, slightly better production and maybe a bit more polished solos I'd like it better but that's just personal taste. 7.5/10
Final score: A job well done. Looking forward to your next songs. 68%.

Well i think 68 is pretty good for only playing for around 1.7 years.

I was thinking, geeshe, my song was not very good, or at least not well recorded, but I just realised something. That is only the second song I ever did on a PC. I need to start writing and recording some new stuff. :?

Dogbite - Meteor

Okay, next up is a country-blues song by our very own Dogbite, let's jump straight in it. :)

The very first thing I noticed (and no matter what people say first impressions matter to me!) was the recording quality. The guitar breathes like a living organism. Dynamics, timbre, it all just swells and blends into each other in a way that makes me look a like stupid grinning ape. In other words, the guitar recording rocks.

But music is more then just tone, so what exactly is happening here? To be honest this song feels to me like a mix between Gary's 'Texas Strut' (from the guitar to the 'har har har') and ocassionaly 'Hit the road jack', which you can just sing over it perfectly. Truth be told there isn't a whole lot happening here that hasn't been done a lot of times before, even though that is often a given for this kind of music. The performance itself is good. While the rhythm is at times a bit jerky and seemingly off it doesn't matter too much because there is nothing to put the guitar against rhytmically. The phrasing and playing dynamics are simply good, not much to complain about.

My biggest gripe however has nothing to do with the performance or sound, but more so with the general feel of the song. On the whole this sounds more like a tech-demo then an actual song. And while I can listen to tech-demos for hours I don't really have the idea that a certain message or feeling is being transmitted here. And while this might sound terribly rude and rough, that message or feeling is what, to me, seperates music from sound. Truth be told I don't even know if this clip actually qualifies for a review, as it's (in a sense), neither a song nor original.

If I had to pass some kind of judgement I had to say that with this clip you've proven to be a competent player with a great sound but what I really want to hear is you taking that as a foundation and making music with it. I know you've done that already and I know you're capable of that but just by this track I wouldn't be able to know that.

[score]
Originality: Don't think I need to go in to the originality value. 0/3
Production: The guitar is perfect, vocals could do with some fattening and a slight boost in the mix. 4/5
Performance: A good performance of itself, some slight rhythm issues on the guitar and some minor phrasing and dynamic issues on the vocals. 7.5/10
Fun-factor: Really tough one. I really liked listening to it but I'll going to cut a lot of points simply because this isn't really an original song but more of a tech-demo. 5/10
Final score: Really a tough one. In a sense it's a well-produced and performed soundclip that's enjoyable to listen to. On the other hand it doesn't even really meet the criteria for getting a review, nor does it really show everything you have to offer. I suggest you ignore all the points completely and just take your sound and skills and apply it to a real song. For what it's worth: 59%.