http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12736813
Instead of thinking outside the box, I'm thinking outside the coffin.
Vampire
Verse 1:
You never notice me
but I’m around
Always there
and always aware
I stay in the shadow
I don’t make a sound
Always silent
And always vigilant
Chorus:
I’m not afraid of the sun
but sometimes I feel
like a vampire
Do you know what goes on
in the mind
of a vampire?
It seems like I’ve been this way
Forever
It feels like I’ll be this way
Forever
Verse 2:
I see through
Your veil of good
Always something below
I always know
I plan the moment
To drain your blood
Always red
And always dead
Chorus:
Hi John,
I like it :twisted:
Seems like your trying a different style of lyrics. I could hear this with dance music.
What music do you hear with it?
Suggestion:
With simplified lines, you want to make each carry its weight
Here lines 2 and 3 say the same thing.....use line 2 to add something....and since the lyrics are light on concrete details, try to fit some in on the new line.
....also vigilant might be difficult to sing as a rhyme with "silent"
I stay in the shadow
I don’t make a sound
Always silent......maybe "deathly/deadly silent" as foreshadowing
And always vigilant
Thanks for sharing.
James
Thanks for commenting.
Here is a very rough recording. First take - using my laptop http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12736813
Hi John,
Great delivery :mrgreen:
Suggestion: One way to bump up the sinister aspect of the singer is to point out innocence/purity/naivety/virginity on the part of the singee in verse 2. Rather than negatives
Maybe that could be what attracts the singer to the singee.....wolf hunting sacrificial lamb ....rather than wolf hunting skanky black sheep :roll:
Your laptop seems to work well for the recording!
James
Thanks for listening and commenting.
