A song from the point of view of a woman who takes a chance on someone in spite of her doubts.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=12735025
verse:
Little white lies and half-truths.
Hints of brilliance without proof.
It's all there in your rendition.
I should have listened to my suspicions.
chorus:
Things aren't what they seem to be
You play with the edges of reality.
You've driven off some of your friends.
Others try to comprehend.
verse:
The facts have a way of coming out.
Somebody we'll learn what it's all about
Witty conversation has been your bait,
Reeling me in like the catch of the day.
chorus
instrumental bridge
verse:
Maybe your real life isn't good enough.
The way you always embelish and bluff.
The lines you fed me were so smooth.
Full of little white lies and half truths
chorus
bridge:
I should have played it safe again
I'd be better off in the end
Without listening to
verse:
Little white lies and half-truths.
Hints of brilliance without proof.
(instrumental)
Renee
Hi Renee,
I really like it! :mrgreen: Nice playing, clear message and some clever lines
Suggestions:
Consider being more straightforward here:
Things aren't what they seem to be
change to......You aren't what you seem to be
A couple of places could be adjusted to put the title more in the spotlight; I think you sense this too when you repeated the line from the v1 at the end, so why not move that line into the chorus?
v1
You've driven off some of your friends.
Others try to comprehend.
It's all there in your rendition.
I should have listened to my suspicions.
ch
Little white lies and half-truths.
Hints of brilliance without proof.
You aren't what you seem to be
PLAYING with the edges of reality.
Thanks for sharing.
James
Is this a reworking of a song you've done previously? I like it but it seems familiar.
John, no it's not a rework, at least not intentionally. I've written over 70 songs. Sometimes I have to throw a song in the trash heap after I realize that my great new song idea is just recycling an old one.
James, I like your suggestion to make the first verse the chorus and I'll see what I can do about more emphasis.
Thanks to both of you for taking the time to listen, analyze, and comment.
Renee
I thought that James' advice about swapping the lyrics in the first verse with the chorus was a great idea. So here it is with some changes in the instrumental parts too. I know that this recording ends kind of abruptly. I'm still getting over a cold and you don't want to here what I cut out. I don't have the voice to try it again.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=12738280
verse:
Things aren't what they seem to be
You play with the edges of reality.
You've driven off some of your friends.
Others try to comprehend.
chorus:
Little white lies and half-truths.
Hints of brilliance without proof.
It's all there in your rendition.
I should have listened to my suspicions.
verse:
The facts have a way of coming out.
Somebody I'll learn what it's all about
Witty conversation has been your bait,
Reeling me in like the catch of the day.
chorus
instrumental bridge
verse:
Maybe your real life isn't good enough.
The way you always embellish and bluff.
The lines you fed me were so smooth.
Full of little white lies and half truths
bridge:
I should have played it safe again
I'd be better off in the end
Without listening to
chorus:
Little white lies and half-truths.
Hints of brilliance without proof.
(instrumental)
Renee
Hi Renee,
The new version spotlights the title much better. :mrgreen:
Hope you feel better soon!
James
