Sorry for omitting the first part of the assignment. I did it on paper and I'm lazy. Also, still need to set up a sound click account so I can post my songs. I'm working on it. Thanks for patience. Here are my conflict lyrics about someone wanting to travel back in time and change things about their life. Feel free to give opinions and critiques.
1
could have learned some things
That you were harbering
Could have been a diamond ring
To a short little freshman.
Wouldn't take so long
For me to come along
Wish I could have wrote this song
As a short little freshman
2
I know ideas were there
but I was drowning in the air
to wrestle that would be a bear
trying to keep my mind off her
still I wish I could explain
all the things yet to change
could have gone and enjoyed the rain
if I kept my mind off her
3
Adolescent priorities
obscuring what could be
rake away like autumn leaves
as a boy in a man's world
I guess that it's just meant to be
still it's hard not to perceive
what was underneath the leaves
as a boy in a man's world
Chorus:
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I want to change just a few
little nagging things
that eat me up
in my brain
Â
won't you let me take a trip
to another time
Realign
My mind
Looks like I missed the mark on the conflict assignment with this one. I'm shifting this back to the vague assignment since I obviously had vague on the brain with this. It will give me a reason to write another song anyway, which is always a good thing.
I think you have the basis of a fine song, but for purposes of this assignment it's really only half the conflict. The other part would be something like what if I changed things and made it worse? For instance, what if your character had gone back and explained everything, but then found out that because you did, it changed the future for the worse? It's okay to choose to go back, or not, but you need the conflict. It's tough...
What is the conflict this is based on?
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haha....a second or two late on my post.
For the purpose of this assignment its way off. I'm already working on another one about to cut down a tree or not. This song ended up so good after I added the music that I'm not going to change it. Hopefully I can get it uploaded. In the meantime I will post my tree lyrics when I get them done. Thanks for the reply Nick!
I don't think you are way off at all. I think you could give both sides by modifying the chorus.
If you think about the conflict in Landslide, I'm changing, but if I do change will you still love me or should I repress who I have become knowing that you won't leave, that should work.
This is just off the top of my head, but it would show the alternative choice in your song
And if I changed the world
and if I made you mine
the dream becomes a nightmare
what horrors would I find?
or something like that
Maybe change the last line of the chorus to
Would I rip the world in two
Would I cross the line
If I realigned
My mind
I think you've got the idea and that definitely is better than what I suggested.
What if you changed the last line to ask the central question in the conflict?
Would I rip the world in two
Would I cross the line
Would we like what we find
If I realigned my mind
However you decide to go, I like it.
Hi Matt,
Good start on this one :D I like the references to the rain and leaves and then looking under the leaves and "as a boy in a man's world" line
....and Nick's suggestion reminds me of the "Butterfly Effect".....every change in the past makes the present and future worse than if it was left untouched.
Thanks for sharing.
James
