Greetings everyone,
I have been trying to hash this rather emotional song out, but I'm having trouble sorting out my emotions about it. Is this a common thing? Does it happen to others? It seems like I have an intensely emotional moment, sit down and try to write about it, but have so many things that I want to say that it just comes out scattered. Sorry, that was a bit of a rant... I wouldn't blame you all for sitting at your computers writing "TOTALLY NUTS!" on your pads of paper :) ! That said, I wanted to get some critiques on my lyrics, I only have the first verse, or maybe the chorus, I'm not sure. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Kyle
I never asked for perfection,
Cuz I never wanted to be,
We'd just waste our time with inspection,
So instead, I just gave her me.
I knew all I'd need was direction,
To set this love of ours free,
And I'd be by her side with protection,
RIght where I'd been longing to be.
Thats all i have for now.
Any comments would be appreciated.
Take care, and play your hearts out!
hey kylek,
was this song written for a certain week's topic? if not it might be best to post this in the "guitarnoise song writting club" section. but i will still comment.
yes it is hard to sort through emotions to come up with a good piece of work. sometimes it is best to just emotionally vomit on the page just to get out everything that you would like to say then take that and mold it into a song. rants are ok, if you read any of my posts or replies that is all i seem to do. :D nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
i think one thing would be to do is break this up into two verses 4 lines and 4 lines. were you trying to make so many lines rhyme? don't know if that rhyme scheme is making it harder to write. simplify. maybe try and step back from the situation and look at it as if you were trying to write about some guy other guy in this situation instead of yourself. sometimes what happens is that you are so caught up in the situation that you can't write about it. also try not to get to caught up in the exact particulars of what actually happened or exact emotions. if it sounds better slightly different from what happened go with it. you can still hold on to the integrity of the situation with it not being exactly waht happened. maybe you could outline where you would like the song to go. you could try and make it more into a story.
that is the end of my rant. :D hope something i said helped. good luck.
-CheapThrill
