As I sit in my bedroom with a picture of you thoughts start running through my head. How is it that I have you and how can I write everything I feel for you down on some paper
I'm trying to write you a love song to you, but every time it seems like the paper is spiting back in my face
So I'm trying to write you a song when its I look back at it I think its shit but I stick with it and play it for you
I'm trying to write you a love song but every time it seems like the paper is spiting in my face screaming your going to hate it
So I sit in front of you with my guitar in hand. I'm paralyzed with fear just to find out that you don't hate it
So I'm going to write a love song for you but every time the paper spits in my face I tell it just needs some work and that she will help me.
Please help me with this. Its a rough draft after all so whatever you find wrong with it let me know please
I don't know the tune you have in mind so this is probably not right . . .
but how about breaking it up into singable chunks . . .
with dropping/adding/changing a few words to try to get a consistent syllable count.
As I sit in my bedroom
with a picture of you (looking at your picture)
thoughts start running through my head.
How is it
that I have you
and how can I write
everything I feel for you
down on plain white paper
I'm trying to write
a love song to you,
but every time
it seems (like) the paper
is spitting back at me
So I'm trying to write
a love song to you
but when I look at it
I think its poop
but I stick with it
and play it for you
I'm trying to write
a love song to you
but every time
it seems the paper
is spitting in my face
screaming you're going to hate it
So I sit in front of you
with my guitar in hand
paralyzed with fear
hoping that you don't hate it
So I'm going to write
a love song for you
but every time
the paper spits in my face
I just tell it it needs (some) work
and that she will help me.
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Yea that sounds a lot better thank you
I think the ending of my song needs some work but I don't know how to finish it any ideas?
Well, with respect to where you're going . . .
I'd write a verse where the last line is:
"How do you put love on paper?"
or
"How do you write love on (simple) paper?"
. . . . something like that.
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Honestly, the songs I like the best have the least amount of words in them. If you say too much, you confuse people, so think about what you really want to say and say that. Use the rest of it in other songs!
