Happy New Year all.
I have taken quite a break from the forum. The end of 2004 was a sad one for me. I lost my father. I went back to Australia to see him. Got there Monday --- saw him Monday afternoon and he passed away Tuesday morning before I could see him again. I guess I can be thankful I got to see him before I go. Doesn't really feel that way at the moment though. But hey, I dont want to drag everyone. Life goes on eh.
Anyway, I posted one on here a while back called More Than Chemistry and I have finally put it to music. I recorded this using the built in mic on my laptop so it is pretty sketchy and still feel it is unfinished. It has no bridge. But, I wanted to get it out there for you guys to see what you think. Here are the lyrics from the original post.
More Than Chemistry.
Will you; walk this road with me
And Wont you; share this load with me
And Will you; speak that I may see
Oh Wont you; walk this road with me
Will you; walk this road with me together
Oh Baby; this could be you and me forever
I see that; look you've been giv'n me and
Baby its plain to see; its more than chemistry; more than chemistry oh
When you; wear those things for me
Wont you; take them off for me
And Do you; ever think of me
When you; wear those things for me
Your doin; all you can inside to fight it
And Im doin; all I can outside to ride it
You see that; look I've been given you and
Baby its all you can do to; keep from having me;
cause its more than chemisty yeah
Solo or something in here.
Now I; hear that you may speak
And I will; give so you wont seek
And if you; see my will is weak
Oh Wont you; kiss me on the cheek
And will you; walk this road with me together
Im think'n; if we aren't now then we aint ever
It may take; two fools such as we to
Fail out of chemistry but; we're more than chemistry yeah
We're more than chemistry oh
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/thejackal71music.htm
BTW -- only lo fi works at the moment.
As always, any feedback is much appreciated.
TheJackal.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=283413
Only dead fish go with the flow.
Hi theJackal.. great song, really catchy.
The guitar fits really well with your lyrics and melody. The three note arppegio that leads into your rhythm pattern creates a really steady but catchy backing, nice job! I think the sort of repetitive nature of the lyrics works really well in this song- it creates emphasis on the 'won't, will you'
which gives an impression of a story, from lyrics that are based on a theme. Good stuff :wink:
and I'm really sorry to hear about your dad, my best wishes are with you.
Jacqui
"Iam a question to the world... not an answer to be heard."
Hey Jackal, good to hear from you . Sorry to hear about you father, Iv'e been there my self, my best wishes to you and you family.
Great song, I agree with Jacqui1627 :D very catchy tune, I can't wait for the bridge---the dog
ps, I have noticed more GN musicians using sound click or other free hosting agents to put there un finished as well as finished songs or ideas, up for others to see, this is a good thing and gives GN a new demension I think :D :D 8)
Thanks to you both for your comments and thoughts.
I have actually stumbled a bit on the bridge. I think it is because I feel that a really good bridge could make the song. I think I am trying a bit too hard at the moment. haha
Smokin --- I caught on to the soundclick thing from someone else here. They had posted an mp3 that way and I thought that would be handy if I ever record anything. My next step is to get something a little more sophisticated than the built in mic on my laptop for recording. haha
Cheers guys,
TheJackal.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=283413
Only dead fish go with the flow.
wow :D really luv your song!
yeah have to agree it's catchy(my head is moving, my feet are moving and I'm singing along :wink: ). the lyrics are amazing, too. didn't know them before.. must be way back? and I like the way the lyrics are 'built'.
love the way you sing, especially when it comes to the last line of the chorus and you add this little 'oh' :)
sweet song, boy.
so sorry about your father. my deepest sympathy for you.
keep it up.
bluenightangel
..I actually got to soundclick because I wanted to post a message for vic on his page and you can only do that if you register. :)
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Thanks for the kind words Blue. I am really motivated to get some more stuff out there. Your compliments certainly help keep me going.
Thanks again.
TheJackal.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=283413
Only dead fish go with the flow.
Hey,
I'd just like to add that maybe you would concider making a duet out of it?
The song is simply adorable and the lyrics are absolutely charming. :)
I love it!
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. One of my friends also passed away last month.
Keep on writing music! This one sounds truly sweet! :)
I did not think of that Ragdoll. Not a bad idea. I would probably need to come up with a couple more verses to have the guy side and girl side.
I like it. :lol:
Thanks for the kind words on my father too.
TheJackal.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=283413
Only dead fish go with the flow.
