I wrote this up a few days ago and I have a melody for it which I may get around to recording in the next few days, or not. I think there's too many verses and I don't know where to put the bridge.
Verses:
He lives in London
He lives in Londontown
That's where he wants to be
He moved to London
He moved to Londontown
That's where he wants to be
I'll go to London
I'll go to Londontown
Tha's where you'll find me
It's cool in London
I'ts cool in Londontown
Londons a real cool place to be
I like the North side
I like the North side of town
The North side's a good place for me
I can't afford London
I can't afford Londontown
London is way too much for me
New York's not like London
New York's not like Londontown
New York's got more energy
I'ts cool in New York
It's cool in New York City
New York's a real cool place to be
Bridge or something:
Want to stay
but I have to go
Want to go
But i have to stay
what's a girl like me to do
Hi Pearl,
I think this song has a lot of potential, I think you are on to something here. I agree about the number of verses. I feel that the song could be enhanced by consolidating the verses a bit and removing some of the repetition so that the story unfolds more quickly.
I hope you don't mind, but to illustrate what I mean I had a go at a rewrite. Feel free to use it or discard it as you see fit.
He lives in London
Old London town
That's where he wants to be
I live in this place
In New York city
He wants to be with me
Come to London
Old London town
That's what he said to me
It's cool in the north of
Old London town
A real cool place to be
bridge
New love versus old love
New town versus old
And energy or stability
To be safe or to be bold
I want to go to London
And start my life anew
Can't afford to go
Can't afford to stay
What's a girl like me to do?
cheers
Paul
thanks for the re-write. I like it and i think you're right about it needing to be consolidated. i think yours has some potential and it has a joni mitchell feel to it, which is always good.
it has a joni mitchell feel to it, which is always good.
thanks Pearl I've always liked Joni Mitchell
cheers
Paul
