Hi all,
My 'lucky number' is 27 so, as that's divisible by 3, I assume that means I should write from the point of view of a witness.
The narration takes place after all the events. It revisits the old story of Frankie and Johnny, or at least makes passing reference to it.
I assumed that it was a reasonably old song, but until I Googled it I didn't realise quite how old. Apparently the original incident that inspired the songs took place in 1899 and the first song appeared in the same year. Subsequently, there have been numerous versions, although the most well known is probably the one in which Frankie shoots Johnny for being unfaithful. When he dies from his wounds (after managing to sing a line or two), she ends up in jail. Frankie and Johnny at Wiki
This song seeks to explore what happened to Frankie after she'd served her time and been released. She takes up with a new man and.... well, read on...
As always, thanks to anybody who reads and/or listens. All suggestions welcome. I'm reasonably happy with most of the lyrics, but the music is just a very rough sketch at this stage.
Cheers,
Chris
Harry and Frankie MP3 - 3mins50
Harry and Frankie
INTRO
Frankie and Johnny were star crossed lovers,
I expect you're familiar with the tale.
But you may not know what happened to Frankie,
when she'd served her time in jail.
CHORUS
Well....
All the men knew not to mess with Frankie,
because her aim was second to none
And the only thing worse than a woman with a grudge,
is a woman with a grudge and a gun.
Verse 1
Frankie took up with an old pal of mine, known as Hair-Trigger Harry to his friends
She liked a drink and he liked a drink, so it sometimes got a little tense
They were a well matched couple we all agreed, both could be mean or sweet
But whether fighting or loving you could hear their noise, all the way down the street
Now, Hair-Trigger Harry kept a pistol at his side, because he wasn't always sweet with the law
And he also knew that a row with Frankie, might come down to the quickest on the draw.
CHORUS
Verse 2
So one hot night Frankie's watching TV, and Harry was knocking back the beer
There were long loud shouts and some louder bangs, but exactly what happened wasn't clear.
Hair-Trigger Harry told a tale of self-defence, he said Judge, I swear upon my soul
I thought she was pointing her gun at me, not the TV remote control
I didn't know she was just changing channels, Judge, I wouldn't tell you any lies
I shot her right between the adverts and the news, and, admittedly, right between the eyes
CHORUS
Verse 3
The prosecutor said it was a cold blooded killing, that Harry's version really was a lie
The only thing remote about his story was the truth, and that Harry deserved to die
The jury agreed and sent poor Harry down, though I really don't think it was fair.
A shocking finish to a shocking tale, strapped in the electric chair.
But despite all the grief there was a happy end, I'm sure that you'll be pleased to hear
When Harry was arrested he gave me his keys, and I went back and finished all his beer.
Yes, I got to finish all the beer. Life can't really be all that bad... When I get to drink all the beer...
WOW :mrgreen: Great job, Chris!
Very entertaining; kept me guessing to the end.
I like your chorus and play on words with "remote"
Thanks for sharing :D
James
It is a good read but seems a bit wordy for a 3-4 minute song.
Very entertaining; kept me guessing to the end.
I like your chorus and play on words with "remote"
Thanks for the kind words James. I'm glad that you got the play on "remote". I did wonder if I'd worded that bit clearly enough, and even had a couple of alternatives ready, in case they seemed to get it across better:
He didn't think the story was 'remotely' true, or The only thing remote was the distance from the truth. But I'll leave it as it is. :)
It is a good read but seems a bit wordy for a 3-4 minute song.
Thanks for the look. Yes, you're right with "wordy". I always have a weakness for long lyrics - I blame exposure to Gilbert and Sullivan patter songs as a boy. Nobody can cram as many words in as they can... :)
It came in under 4 minutes when I sang it, so I don't think I'll chop it.
Cheers,
Chris
Just got a listen. It's fine. Sorry I doubted your ability to fit it all in. :)
Most excellent! Well told story and I loved the chorus.
Neil
I shot her right between the adverts and the news, and, admittedly, right between the eyes
classic
along with shocking/electric
and remote
Beer....mmmm
I think this one might be done in this time zone soon.
Most excellent! Well told story and I loved the chorus.
Neil
Thanks for the supportive comments Neil. Good to hear from you. :) I haven't been around here for a while but I hope you're still doing some singing and song-writing.
I think this one might be done in this time zone soon.
Thanks for the appreciative comments Nick. :) Of course, you presumably just meant that its almost time for you to start drinking some beer. But I'd like to imagine that it might also have meant that the idea had crossed your mind of singing the song one day. It would be great to think that some of my lyrics occasionally get sung by somebody who can actually sing! 8)
Which brings up quite an interesting point, that I think is often over-looked by song-writers. Who is the most important person in the process of producing a song that will entertain an audience?
Is it the composer whose artful arrangement sucks us in?
Or maybe it's even the listener. The girl in the front row of who might just buy a CD one day?
Actually I don't think it's either of them. Who is always the star of the show? Who gets their picture on the album cover? Yep, it's the singer again......
The person who has to sell the song to the audience is always the singer. If the words don't punch in step with the music, and if they don't give the singer a chance to strut their stuff in some way, then why expect it to work? That's why I value the comments from people here - you've all had experience of singing songs, including your own material. Regardless of whether you may like a treatment you can "smell" the difference between a singable song and something that's on the nose or too stiff.
I was reminded of that again when you posted the basic idea for "Alligator shoes and a bolo tie". All you starting with was the idea that part of the chorus was to be "the entire band yelling, "Alligator boots and bolo tie". Thinking like a singer. I'm sure that all the songwriters here could immediately hear them doing exactly that, almost as clearly as if you'd provided a sound clip. And, as expected, the rest of the lyrics were very obviously singable too.
I used to approach songwriting very much as a story teller and a wannabe musician. I'm now leaning towards trying to think like a wannabe singer. I think it probably pays off better in the end!
