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SSG Year 6 week 1 - Walkin' alone

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(@saryu)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 49
Topic starter  

This sort of came into my head this afternoon (first time I've looked at the SSG for a while, and first time I've tried to write anything for even longer :P). The third verse was the hardest and most important, and I'm still not entirely satisfied with it, but it will do for now. I'd love some feedback on whether or not the story is expressed clearly enough - I can see the whole thing clearly in my mind, but I don't know if the few sparse lines here are doing a satisfactory job.

Walkin' Alone
----------------

I'm walkin' alone
I'm a-walkin' alone
Walkin' alone down this lonely road
I'm walkin' alone

My baby she's gone
My baby she's gone
I'm walking on home and I'm all alone
Coz my baby she's gone

There were no goodbyes
There were no goodbyes
There was no time as I ran that red light
For me to say bye

So I'm walkin' alone
I'm walkin' alone
Walkin' alone down this lonely road
Yes I'm walking alone


   
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(@montezuma)
Estimable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 121
 

Sure gets the story across.
Quite a good twist as the natural expectation is that this is a jilted lover or whatever.
Its a bit of a shock and it makes the last verse all the more poignant - we realise the loss will be permanent and the loneliness must surely be more unbearable because of the regret for the self-inflicted loss.

I assume this is a blues?

Cheers
Ola

“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh


   
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(@saryu)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 49
Topic starter  

Thanks for the feedback, Ola. I'm glad I was able to get the message across! It's a blues song, I was playing around trying to put some music to it last night (I have a rough idea of the tune in my head) but I only had my ukulele with me, and it's hard to compose music on a ukulele :P


   
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(@katreich)
Prominent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 686
 

I like the whole idea of him "walking". One would assume that he won't or can't drive anymore. Subtle, I like it.

Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.

www.soundclick.com/kathyreichert


   
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