SSG -Year 7, Week 1 - KR2

:mrgreen:

I particularly liked the bit about being left with the kid who wasn't yours.

I didn't understand the line about "his father I resign", but perhaps that's a local usage thing. I didn't have any trouble strumming through it as a song, which is always a good sign, but (like mine this week) it seemed to be all over in about half song length, so I guess it could use a fair bit of instrumental support, or even some more verses.

Great to hear that you're working on a recording, It doesn't matter how rough you think it is - just post anyway. The important thing is to give the listener a sense of the rhythm and show when the chord changes occur. You can get the session musicians, producers, arrangers and audio engineers in to clean it up later, but they'll all need an outline to hang it on... :wink:

Cheers,

Chris

I don't think you'd have much trouble stretching this to three mins or thereabouts - I'm thinking slow, mournful country, a real crying-in-your-beer (as mentioned!) song. Lots of pedal steel!

I understand what you're getting at with the verse about the child - you're quitting as his father figure, but who do you tell? It's just slightly awkwardly worded....as Nick says, if you wouldn't say it that way in ordinary conversation, it's not going to come across well lyrically. (Remember "pain's another guise?" - Second thoughts, no, let's forget it!) Trying to come up with an alternative, but I'm drawing a blank - tricky, trying to get the point across without losing the rhyme.

Looking forward to your music, anyway!

:D :D :D

Vic

When learning to swim, at some point you have to jump in the pool . . .
usually in the shallow end . . . and this is really, really shallow . . . but . . . I'm in the pool.

http://s231.photobucket.com/albums/ee306/kenrogers2/?action=view&current=IWonderWhy.flv

I wonder why she left me
Her letter didn't say
Took our dog and the truck
And quickly drove away

Whoa Oh Oh Ohhh
Ohhh Oh Oh Oh

Here I stand, all alone
I wonder where she went
No food to eat, no place to sleep
And I'm left without a cent

Whoa Oh Oh Ohhh
Ohhh Oh Oh Oh

I shed a tear, in my beer
What am I to do?
I miss my truck but most of all
I really miss Ol' Blue.

Whoa Oh Oh Ohhh
Ohhh Oh Oh Oh

Wife was in the kitchen and threw out the first comment . . . . "Not bad" . . .
I guess that means I get to sleep with her tonight . . . gotta love my groupies.

KR2

. . . but . . . I'm in the pool.

YES! :mrgreen:

You can write words, you can play a few chords, and you can hold a tune (your voice is just fine too, which is a big plus) - careers have been built on less! :wink:

You can now casually, but authentically, drop into conversation - with anybody who'll stand still long enough to listen - the fact that you've written, played and sung your own sung - and it's been heard by people around the world. SSG bestows the priceless gift of "Instant International Artist" to all who are brave enough to post a recording. Definitely better than a crummy set of free steak knives...

Now you're off the benches and in the water just keeping those strokes going.... By the end of the years you'll be powering along like an olympian, wrestling with sharks, singing with dolphins, and *insert aquatic image of your own choice*

Cheers,

Chris

Congrats, Ken. Very nicely done. Of course, now we'll be expecting songs on a fairly regular basis :wink:

Only suggestion I'd make is in the last verse. The "what am I to do" line seems kind of wimpy. How about:

I shed a tear, in my beer
And order another two.
I miss my truck but most of all
I really miss Ol' Blue.

You're on your way, now! Don't let it all go to your head.

Peace

In the water, swimming trunks haven't fallen down, still afloat, not a shark in sight - and you didn't even notice there was no air in the armbands!

Great start to build on - lyrically, it flows smoothly and (bonus points here!) suits the music you put to it. I do like David's suggestion for the last verse, he's done that with a couple of mine in the past - I think "be pro-active rather than passive" was the way he put it.

Your voice is another plus - good job you like country, it strikes me your voice is very well suited to that particular genre. Just a pity you couldn't find a way to keep the motherless fatherless kid in.

Encore!

:D :D :D

Vic

Nice job Ken! You and Vic both have those incredibly long fingers! I love the editorial comment at the end. Not bad, indeed!
Hope this isn't your last.

YES! :mrgreen:
You can write words, you can play a few chords, and you can hold a tune (your voice is just fine too, which is a big plus) - careers have been built on less! :wink:
Thank you, Chris. Vic just happened to arrange the assignment so I got to pick the 4 chords that I happen to know.
I'm so pleased I didn't drown and Ol' Blue and I are both dog paddling here in the shallow end . . .
Thanks again for the big yes . . . it means a lot. :)
Congrats, Ken. Very nicely done. Of course, now we'll be expecting songs on a fairly regular basis :wink:

Only suggestion I'd make is in the last verse. The "what am I to do" line seems kind of wimpy. How about:

I shed a tear, in my beer
And order another two.
I miss my truck but most of all
I really miss Ol' Blue.

You're on your way, now! Don't let it all go to your head.

Peace
TY, David for the suggestion . . . excellent idea . . . more beer . . .
and yes, I have God and my wife to keep me humble . . . and you have the power to continue deleting my wayward posts.
Is this a perfect world or what?
In the water, swimming trunks haven't fallen down, still afloat, not a shark in sight - and you didn't even notice there was no air in the armbands!
My thanks to you, Vic. Excellent assignment. One that I had fun doing.
Nice job Ken! You and Vic both have those incredibly long fingers! I love the editorial comment at the end. Not bad, indeed!
Hope this isn't your last.
TY, Kat. Much appreciated.

Rock and roll Ken

Any song with a dog, a truck and more than one beer is ok by me!!! :roll:

I want to know when you get time to crank up the big amp - and having another guitar sitting in the background is pretty cool too.

Oh yes, the song, hmmmm

Ok, let add 'doooowhap doooowhap dooooowhap dooo' gratuitously between every line.

Excellent.

Rock on!

D 8)

I want to know when you get time to crank up the big amp - and having another guitar sitting in the background is pretty cool too.

Oh yes, the song, hmmmm

Ok, let add 'doooowhap doooowhap dooooowhap dooo' gratuitously between every line.

The amp on top is a used small G-Dec. It has some drum beats and sounds built into it. It was on the fritz (crackling speaker - I think the previous owner blew it) so I bought another amp. It's not that big - 15 watt. It's just sitting on the box that it came in. I read someplace (here) to elevate the amp off the floor for a better sound.

My wife wanted me to sing " :note1: Woe is meee :note2: " instead of the " :note1: Whoaaa Oh Oh Oh". (I don't do Doowhap :mrgreen: )

Thanks, DB

Hah! Not bad.....I love the off camera comment.

Now you know it can be done. That is a really good first song. You should hear mine. No, really you shouldn't.

I like the song, you could flesh out the verses though and make it a bit longer. Get a notepad and write down random thoughts that occur to you as you listen to it. Try to craft those into new lines. You never know.

Well done.

Thanks, Nick
I think I'll just use a paper punch on that page . . . place it in my music folder . . .
and revisit it sometime in the future.

Whoaa Oh Oh Oh :D