REFLECTION OR ILLUSION
Staring in the mirror, I see you looking back
First you're four, then nine, so many memories I've lost track
Some things have changed, but others have stayed the same
I remember the wild red curly hair, dreams of fortune and fame
Reflection or illusion, no matter what you say
I still remember and know, who you are today
I see the gawky, sporty teen, obnoxious to the core
The bridal gown, the mother, and the widow weeds you wore
Have you changed so much over more than eighty years?
I still see those blue eyes, now tired in need of care
Reflection or illusion, no matter what you say
I still remember and know, who you are today
Always seeing the bright side, no matter how things were
Through tears you saw so clearly, while the world saw just a blur
I see the lines and wrinkles, grey hairs amongst the red
Kids grown up and gone, husband long since dead
Reflection or illusion, no matter what you say
I still remember and know, who you are today
You are me, and I am you, not much has really changed
Or is it an illusion in my tired and weary brain
I'm sure I see the girl I was, when I was sweet sixteen
Or is it just reflected memories, and could have beens
Reflection or illusion, no matter what you say
I still remember and know, who I am today
Go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Hi Jamir,
I feel as though I should apologize, because I can't find anything in this song that I would change. It's truly very, very good. I hope you won't think this praise gratuitious. Juxtaposing reflection / illusion and remember / know against each other the way you did is a very clever stroke. The sort of thing I wish I'd have thought of. Thank you for another wonderful read.
-Scratch
I like your story a lot. Its got a sort of a dreamy feel to it with the time line jumping around. There are just a few little things that are nagging at me. I don't think the word "remember" is needed in the second line of the chorus. It gives the impression that you're remembering the present. Which doesnt quite make sense. I also feel that the lyrics could be tightened up here and there.
I'm getting a Tori Amos type vibe here. She writes wonderfully on memories and looking back.
You're always a good read Jamir.
-Marv
But that's just the point, I think.
[ I still remember and know, who you are today]
remember references the past, know references the present. In a similar way, reflection, as an image of something real, plays against illusion, a very real image, that is false. Sort of having two "disonant" ideas that when taken together, create a feeling of ... I don't know... pleasant ambiguity?
Then again, I'm reminded of the words a friend of mine whispered in Lit class during a lecture on the symbolism in the novel "Moby Dick." While the prof expounded on all the possible oppressive institutions represented by the white whale, my friend leaned over and said "I thought it was a big fish". :-/
Now I'm rambling. I'm probably reading too much into it, but I liked it. Just my $0.02.
-Scratch
Hi'a Guys,
Well you are right Scratch,
I still remember "and" know who you are today
meaning she still has the memories of the past but knows she is old and not that sweet young girl anymore
i wish I could tighten it up as it is nightmare to put to a melody, but it was really hard to fit a life of memories into a song as it was, any ideas Marv are most welcome
Sorry dunno Tori Amos, I must go a searching !!!
Thanks for the feedback
Go well
Ja'mir ;)
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Great work. Scratch has nailed it with his comments. The only line that bothers me at all is "and could have beens" because the meter doesn't feel quite perfect. I know you will make it work as you always seem to somehow do, but maybe a simple change to something like "and what could have beens" or something to add an extra beat in there would do it.
I thought this was about you until I read the line "...over more than eighty years?" I knew it had been a while since I posted, but.... ;D
8)
He not busy being born is busy dying. - Bob Dylan (It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding)
Then again, I'm reminded of the words a friend of mine whispered in Lit class during a lecture on the symbolism in the novel "Moby Dick."
OK. Â I know I didn't type "thingy". I never say "thingy." Â In fact, if Bob gave us an assignment to write a song including the word "thingy", I'd sit that week out. Â So what gives? Â Moderators?, Anyone?... Anyone?... Bueller?
It's our automated watchdog. He replaces what he considers to be inappropriate words with "thingy"
So D.i.c.k.i.e C.o.c.k.burn comes out as Dickie Cockburn
I started with nothing - and I've still got most of it left.
Did you know that the word "gullible" is not in any dictionary?
Greybeard's Pages
My Articles & Reviews on GN
