Okay guys, have at it. Â I've been playing around with this idea for a while, and it fit with this week's assignment, so here it is. Â Like Stagefrightsux, I opted for the "Woke up this morning" opening as well. Â Mostly because since it's a satiric piece, it seemed to fit.
YUPPIE BLUES
============
I woke up this mornin'
couldn't find my new deck shoes
woke up this mornin'
couldn't find my new deck shoes
Guess I'll wear these old topsiders,
LORD I s'pose they'll have to do
Went out to the garage,
and my beemer I could not see,
Yes I went out to the garage,
you know my beemer I could not see,
My woman she took my beemer,
now I'll have to drive that SUV
I went in to the Starbuck's
But my latte they didn't have
Yes I stopped in at the Starbuck's
But my latte they didn't have
Had to buy a Hazelnut coffee,
With six or seven Half and Halfs.
Oh I wish I weren't a yuppie,
I wanna be like normal folks,
You know I wish I weren't a yuppie,
Why can't I be like normal folks,
Oh I gotta impress all my neighbors,
Or they'll think I'm just a joke.
I gotta keep up with the Joneses,
if I don't it'd be uncool,
I gotta keep up with the Joneses,
'cause if I don't it'd be so uncool,
But Lord how I wish old man Jones,
Hadn't bought that brand new pool.
=======================
Thanks,
-- Scratch
Haha... priceless.. really. I really enjoy your subject matter Scratch. I almost always find the heart of your songs to be interesting. You've got a mind for being catchy lyrically.
On to the critique.
There's this sort of backwards language in the 4th verse "my latte they didn't have" plus "half" and "have" are really similiar words. It still works though. I'll just nit pick becasue im supposed to. I love screw around style blues songs. Anything works in a blues progression.
And as for "woke up this morning" Ha... Alabama 3 made a whole song (and a good song) with that line for its hook. If you've never heard of the group watch an episode of the Sopranos. The song runs during the openning.
-Marv
Yuppie Blues! I'm diggin' it! I like funny blues songs. One of my fav's is B.B. King's "Noboby loves me but my mama, but she could be jivin' too"! This song reminded me of that vibe. Can't say I'd change anything about it. Good work.
"The only way I know that guarantees no mistakes is not to play and that's simply not an option". David Hodge
Very catchy... Yuppies always seem to provide plenty of fodder for creative satire, don't they?
I love it!
It's great!
Only thing that jumped out at me was the end. I think in satire one needn't directly refer to the thing they're satirizing, so I wouldn't use the word Yuppie. Or maybe it's the line"got to impress my neighbours or they'll think I'm a joke" that bugs me...possibly because up until the last verse, he seems genuinely concerned about his plight in an oblivious way, then at the end he's aware of it....it just seems funnier when he's clueless and sincere.Know what I mean?
Really good point, Spam. I'll see what I can come up with for a better last verse.
-- Scratch
Hi Scratch
This is excellent stuff - again.
Good blues style. I was going to make the point that some of the language is not in everyday construction, such as
I could not see and they didn't have
but I don't think it's that important in a piece designed to poke fun in this particular style, which it does very effectively.
Also I'd like to see the revision for the last verse as I agree with spam his ignorance of his own ridiculousness adds poignancy to the piece.
Great piece
Bob :)
You are what you eat, eat well
Ok Spam, Bob,
I changed the last verse so it's not self-referential. I think it works better. Thanks,
-- Scratch
Hi Scratch
Excellent rewrite - works really well
Bob
You are what you eat, eat well
I have no critique really. Â I just liked it so much I have to tell you. Â I agree that its better with him being oblivious to his "yuppieness." Â And not to worry about sentence structure. Â Most blues songs (and many other songs, for that matter) don't follow grammatical rules, for example, "Is you is or is you aint my baby?" by Louis Jordan.
Awesome Work! Give yourself a great big pat on the back for this one.
Purple
It's not easy being green.... good thing I'm purple.
