This came to me rather easily and quickly, but I find the first two lines need some work. Also I may add at least another verse due to the fact that the traditional chorus is nonexistant. I also think this may not really meet the assignments need of "newness and anticipation", this is much more like a humurous look at consumer culture. We saw alot of it over the past month.
So here it is.
Oh look it's a sale
Bright and shiney and fresh
Gotta have some new s***
It'll only cost me a bit
Everyones telling me I need this
and it'll only cost me a bit
I need that new car smell
Five grand cash back sale
Gott have some new shit
It'll only cost me a bit
Hey everyone wants this shit
And it'll only cost me a bit
No payments until twenty-ten
Hell I can have the cash by then
Gotta have some newshit
It'll only cost me a bit
Everyones gonna be impressed
and It'll only cost me a bit
I like it! I can hear it on the radio in a triple shot w/ Dire Straight's Money for Nothing and Pink Floyd's Money. :)
I assume "Hell I can the cash by then" is just missing the "have"?
I really like...
"I need that new car smell
Five grand cash back sale"
that flows well and is a great mental image.
For the first 2 lines, maybe something like...
"Hey, the price is right
Shiny and fresh and bright"
?
Yeah, sorry about that. I have a horrible habit of not proofreading.
I like your suggestion, I'll give it some thought.
This song has energy.
I can imagine running round the music shops singing it to myself (before the Xmas shopping for the kids went over the top & I has to put my GAS on hold). :(
The only comment I have is that perhaps the repeat of poop could be got rid of.
Nice one
Ola
PS - I do really actually, definitely, need some new shit, honest! :twisted:
PPS - Just did a preview before posting and noticed that the the word sh1t in the above line has been automatically converted to the word poop. Which means that you can ignore my comment as the software has probably been pooping up all your lyrics.
(I have experimented by changing the i to a 1, I hope that is ok with the software). :twisted:
“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh
