:D this was the 6th chorus I tried,
ya i almost thought i was never going to find one
hope u guys like it :D
This letter to you (Aeryn.McAvan)
Chorus by (spadge)
She sits alone in a solemn daze
pencil in her hand
the words they escape her
as a thousand tear drops fall
there is no one there to hear her
just the shadows on the walls
she reads the words shes written
and again the teardrops fall
(chorus)
this letter to you
will never make it
these words i write
will never be read
and all i have to say to you
will stay inside my head
:?
well i woke up this morning and read the verse i wrote and felt it needed changing .....version #2 :wink:
these words that i have written never meaning to be read
words all jumbled up stuck within my head
i sit alone in a solemn daze pencil in my hand
the words they escape me
as a thousand tear drops shed
theres noone here to hear me
just the shadows on the walls
i read the words i've written
and again the tear drops fall
(chorus)
this letter to you
will never make it
these words i write
will never be read
and all i have to say to you
will stay inside my head
Hey mystic,
Yup, I whole heartedly agree with your changes. It's tough reworking your own stuff sometimes, but you made the changes I would have, and then some. Nice work.
My only concern is one of semantics. In the first and last lines of the chorus, there are words written, but in the middle the words escape the main character. Unless its a pun on 'the words escape me', in which case it's better (and kinda clever), but still out of line with the progress of the narrative.
But that's a bit nit picky. Nice work overall.
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
thanks slowplay
i went back to the drawing board and came up with the reast of the song and made a new posting i think it sounds a little less confussing with the rest of the lyrics :roll: but then again maybe not :lol:
let me know what you think
thanks mystic :D
