As a tribute ot my husband I was going to title this song
"If I Told You That You Had a Heavenly Body Would You Hold It Against Me?"
But in the interest of brevity I'll Just call it :
Heavenly Body
I was cold, so cold
Like a cloudy moonless night
And I was chilled to the bone
Left on my own to make things right
I lift my eyes up to the heavens
Navigating by the stars
But the clouds obstruct my vision
Slashing 'cross the sky like scars
I long to feel your heavenly body
Hold me close when the day is done
Wrap me in your heavenly body
With the warmth of a thousand suns
Sometime love burns like a comet
But it's really rocks and ice
and though you hope it burns forever
You may pay a bigger price
But I can count on you like sunrise
and like the moon affects the tide
To bring the heat of burning nova's
To bring a love that's not denied
I long to feel your heavenly body
Hold me close when the day is done
Wrap me in your heavenly body
With the warmth of a thousand suns.
I'm looking for a third verse or a bridge or both. And although I thought this was a great topic, I really struggled with this one.
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Hi Katreich
I don't think you necessarily need a third verse or even a bridge. You could always go the time honored tradition of doing an instrumental third verse and then repeating the chorus. Or a half an instrumental verse and repeatthe last half of a verse and then a chorus. If you were going to do that, then I'd start the repeat with "but I can count on you like sunrise."
The start of the second verse with its comet image is marvelous. The only thing I'd recommend is that don't feel that everything here has to have a "space" image. In the very last two lines, for example
Sometime love burns like a comet
But it's really rocks and ice
and though you hope it burns forever
You may pay a bigger price
But I can count on you like sunrise
and like the moon affects the tide
To bring the heat of burning nova's
To bring a love that's not denied
I think the "burning nova" is a little forced, not to mention redundant! :wink:
Do you have any music in mind? For some reason I keep hearing a little Mary Chapin Carpenter in this, but that may be because Karen was playing one of her CDs two nights ago. But a rocking, "alt country" feel would certainly go well here.
Peace
Thanks David. Actually playing around with this last night I did almost exactly as you said. The musical verse with a first verse repeat. I do like your idea of starting with "I can count on you like sunrise." I know the burning nova was lame, and the imagery was forced and you can tell. So I'm already thinking about another line there.
The music I have been playng with is a bit of a ripoff of your moondance arrangement. Almost jazzy. Do I hear saxaphone solo? Still very much a work in progress but if I get it ironed out I'll find a way for you to listen!
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
hey katreich:)
just wanted to let you know that I do love the original title. I think it's terrific, it is more meaningful..... I'd definitely use it.. but of course it's your decision :wink:
good song.
cheers,
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
