it's not to great. i haven't written in a while. eh, comments would yesly be accepted.
Misconceptions
Her robotic arm moved
Towards his
His mind always wandering
Avoiding potential bliss
Check out the landscape
Can you see
The future tha'ts there
Have you been deceived?
His focus was not on her
Every other woman
Got a stare
They were supposed to be one
Check out the landscape
Can you see
The future that's there
Have you been deceived
Two years later
They left to be alone
Seperatly deciding
To not pick up the phone
Check out the landscape
They missed it you see
The futures not there
They were deceived!
hey rue;)
it's not bad, you know.
and I haven't been very comfortable with this week's assignment either.
one thing I noticed was the nice flow. I imagine it kinda robotic :wink:
not meaning electric, just that it's got a kinda clipped(for lack of a better description) rhythm which is cool and fits the mood I get from this.
the last two parts seem rather melodic... would make a good contrast.
jesus, maybe I'm talking nonsense... if so simply ignore me;)
really, it's not bad, it's actually nice... I can't think of the right words to describe what I feel... sarcastic but also oh-you-missed-all-of-it mood...? nonsense again;)
cheers,
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Nice work, i liked it. As everyone else seems to be saying, this weeks assignment was rather hard. I was impressed with how you used the assined words so well. Not much i can think to say was wrong with it, actually nothing off hand. I could picture that very clearly being the lyrics to a song. Good stuff :P
Hi Ruepickle,
I like this song too. I do find this verse a bit awkward thoughTwo years later
They left to be alone
Seperatly deciding
To not pick up the phone
How about Two years later
They left to be alone
Separately wondering
Why it had taken so long
just a thought. Good work. :D
