What You Grow Into
It was a long night of talking
I'd only come to get more clothes
We both knew I was still walking
Though there lingered something in our souls
I enjoyed the real laughter
As we smiled upon our past
I enjoyed the real tears
We both cried cause this couldn't last
And as I drove away that night
So we could both begin new lives
The headlights cut the darkness
And I began to realize
-I don't want to lose you all the way
-I'd like to somehow remain
-A friend that you can tell a secret to
-Someone you know will laugh with you
-I never meant to make you cry
-Theres so much good I want for you
-I wanna watch you pick yourself back up
-I wanna see what you grow into
I made it back with the boxes
In a dark house I put it all away
Then I walked there among the windows
Wondering what would come with day
I know I have myself to rebuild
There so much work that I must do
But I don't want to lose the part of me
That wants to see that you rebuild too
So I think I'll call you from time to time
Just to hear about your life
You were so much good for me
And I just now realized
-I don't want to lose you all the way
-I'd like to somehow remain
-A friend that you can tell a secret to
-Someone you know will laugh with you
-I never meant to make you cry
-Theres so much good I want for you
-I wanna watch you pick yourself back up
-I wanna see what you grow into
Each word led me on to another word,
Each deed to another deed.
-Havamal-
Hey Mork,
Sorry I missed this thread mate. I think you must've posted so early it got lost among all the Week 26's. :D
Anyway, to the song ...
I can see a lot of emotion in this. Sorta hard to miss. :)
About the only thing I could pick up on though was the theme of waking up. Though, I can see through your lyrics that this is sort of implied.
Anyway, good work. :)
From little things big things grow - Paul Kelly
Hey Morkalg!
A really good song you wrote this week. :D
I can almost hear this as a some slow grinding metal melody.
"If I had a time machine, I'd go back and tell me to practise that bloody guitar!" -Vic Lewis
Everything is 42..... again.
Thanks guys, glad you liked the song. Yeah I did post it quite early on it only took me like a minute or two to write it.
As for style, slow metal... sure! I don't particularly like country music but for some reason every time I sing this I end up singing it with a country twang. Maybe I just wrote my first country song?
Hmmmm, I guess if i did then this songwriting group is certainly hitting it's mark in making us write out of our little boxes!
Rob
Each word led me on to another word,
Each deed to another deed.
-Havamal-
Hi morkalg,
I really like what you've written. The emotion really comes through. I have one little itty bitty suggestion . . . . . for me the word "rebuild" is so mechanical it goes against the sensitivity of everythinig else you write. I wonder if there's a better way to phrase it in line with the "growing" aspect you mention.
Really nice work!
Hi morkalg,
I liked this alot, the first verse made me think about the breaking up with my ex, and the feeling stayed there throughout the read (though only the first verse fit)
A lot of emotion and sort of straight from the heart, good writing :)
I can hear the country in this, any chance you'll get it recorded? I'd love to hear!
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Definitely another vote for country! This has a wonderful "personal yet univeral" feel to it that I think will play well with some simple country or country-influenced music backing it up. Where are the lap steel players?
One thing I'd tinker with is the middle of the first verse:
I enjoyed the real laughter
As we smiled upon our past
I enjoyed the real tears
We both cried cause this couldn't last
The last line here seems a little wordy and redundant as well. Maybe
I enjoyed the real laughter
As we smiled upon our past
I enjoyed the real tears
I'm sure they won't be my last
or something like that?
Looking forward to reading more and to hopefully hearing this sometime.
Peace
Hi
Yep another vote for country over here .. :lol: :lol:
Might be I like a bit of country music .....
I'm not entirely convinced that rebuild mentioned twice in the same verse works , maybe once but not twice ( just my opinion)
hilch :?:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Hello
Just remember it's your song and you play it the way you want
Keep Posting
L.K
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
Hi Morkalg
Very emotional and honest.
Certainly a slow, reflective piece however you wish to play it. In fact try to record both when you can and put it to a vote - now that could be interesting.
Good stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
