Week 41 Ollie Ollie Oxen Free. MP3 added

That's a very well written song, or professional grade. You could do a lot with music and a melody, it's versatile and open.

I like the verse chorus, verse chorus, bridge chorus-type symmetry, or adherence to format. Variations in the chorus show advanced skills and communication or expression of thought and are interesting with good concept. I just don't understand the phrase till I catch up with you although indeed it rhymes with the line two up, that ends in through. I'd think about that?

I thought about it swift and easy, and unless I am missing some meaning, would have written "Until I am caught by you". :D

Hi Kathy,

Good start :D You did a great job at setting the scene of the childhood game. Great metaphor of the game for the game of love.

Suggestion: I understand the gist of the singer's desire or love for the singee, but consider rechecking the literal and figurative references of the game as it gets a bit confusing regarding the hiding and chasing sequence. I'll try to high light a couple parts:

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free

Laughter ringing out in the fading light
Sounds like the children calling
For a neighborhood game of kick the can
While dusk is slowly falling
And I crouch down behind a tree
And hope that you might find me
So I can make a race for home
And put the games behind me.....nice setup verse BTW

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free
The can's been kicked , we're through......this hinted at "we're through" with the relationship....but it hasn't really started
I let you keep on chasing me.......Til I caught up with you. On just the read, this line is confusing
.......so maybe I'm confused b/c "we're through" is meaning a literal "done with the game for the day".....but "...Til I caught up with you." is speaking figuratively?....at any rate, I'm sure it's clear to you but it might need a bit more clarification for the listener

All our friends join in the fray
Before the game is over.....maybe the section before this needs to go after b/c you just said the game was over....or maybe say "this round is over"
And I pretend to close my eyes
While you go run for cover
One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four
Ready or not, here I come
Not hiding anymore.......here the figurative is conflicting with the literal again, b/c if literally if she is the seeker, it's a given she is not hiding...so I think the mixing of the literal "counting during the game" and the figurative "not wanting to hide feelings anymore" needs more space between the ideas

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free
Come out the game is ending
You can find your hearts desire
And I can stop pretending.....maybe swap this section with the parallel section above where you talk about the game ending......as the time line flows, this should come after the singee was the seeker and the singer was the hider....b/c here the singer is telling the singee to "find" (seeker's job)....and the singer can "stop pretending" (or hiding their true emotions)

Home free, you and me ,home free
Yippee! Now you can play with me....you're saying free but the only game mentioned is the game they are not free in....maybe something like this as an alternative:
Home free, you and me ,home free
Yippee! No more chasing 'round that tree

...or indicate the game the singer wants to play....like this......

Home free, you and me ,home free
Yippee! Now you can COME AND play HOUSE with me....but then the next section might need to be tweaked a bit as well since both games would be referred to as childish.

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free
Those childish games are through
But I'll let you keep on chasing me....Til I catch up to you. I'm still not sure how this works or what is being communicated......it indicates the "game of admitting you like someone is over" and the singer is saying "We are in a relationship now but I will still be hard to figure out"........"Til I catch up to you." ??? You'll have to clue me in here.

Thanks for sharing :D

James

Thanks for the read guys. I've tweaked this a bit. The premise here is that most men think that they are the ones doing the pursuing in a relationship, when in fact, women like to play hard to get, and let men chase them. In fact they're lying in wait waiting to catch them instead. In this song, the woman is saying, "enough of you chasing me, I've caught you" . I will definitely fine tune this today, and will probably use some of your suggestions!