OK, I am taking an online modern poetry course, and it is rubbing off so bear with me. Honestly, I am not sure what to do about this one. I started with the religion angle (as mentioned in a post on "Sunday Somewhere - Renee") but went with the life of the building loosely tied to Sunday. So I wrote the lyrics down earlier today, minor edit/rewrite tonight. This tracks the occupancy of a building that went from a spa to a kingdom hall, to a fulltime AA meeting place, to a safe house. As always I am open to suggestions.
spoken over a slow repeating fingerpicking progression of G Em C Am G
It's Sunday somewhere
but in this pungent building
the spa was empty,
green coat of slime on the pool side
a quiet place where people escaped
Deck covered the pool
a morning frozen
Abstract interpretations of ancient writings
by men
from inspiration
Awakening awash
Four horseman rode from a plywood platform
Witnesses
above the sheaths
sing righteous songs where people escape
Brothers replaced by recovery
Seeking serenity
Picking up pieces from shattered structure
Look for
serenity
Stale cigarettes
coffee, ground to hold on to
taking
one day at a time
surrendering steps where people escape
Recovery turned over to runaways
Seeking a safe place
Visiting
day for
security
Its now a safe house
everyone's looking for something higher
praying
just a matter of time
dilapidating place where people escape
To tear down
The sunday building where people escape
Good story. I've been around a few fellowship clubs and appreciate the accurate description. :)
Hi Andy,
online modern poetry course,
That sounds interesting.
Good use of details :D ....just one minor change to make the verb tense stay "in the now"
the spa was empty,............the spa IS empty,
Thanks for sharing.
James
Hi Andy
Definitely a very descriptive piece. Not sure about the modern poetry angle, unless you're figuring to use the various line breaks as a way to also break up the melody. And if that's the case, you may end up confusing your audience a bit. Perhaps not - no real way to tell without the music.
Am interested to hear a recorded version of this.
Looking forward to more.
Peace
