"long seems the day but short seems my life"
said me
with my eyes held tight between your thighs!
"gee..
long seems the day but short seems my life."
said me
with my eyes held tight between your thighs!
we
shy away politely
do you think i'll keep you safe (from harm)?
i will but i don't rightly
know how the hell i made (you think)
you think of me so highly
"do you believe in love?" (you ask)
i can't lie "Just slightly."
and you still look at me with hope!!!!
"long seems the day...."
i'm pretty sure you fill the hole
where my heart once was
but i wouldn't know cuz
i don't feel a think since the drugs
and i can't decide if i want things to change.
i can't decide if it's even my choice these days.
"long seems the day....."
to listen to my songs for SSC click here http://www.myspace.com/impossibleobjects
hey geoffrey:) just thought of you last week.
hell, I read this one earlier today but couldn't reply then so here I am now and still don't know much more to say than : excellent, absolutely terrific!!! :D
first of all I love the structure and I adore the title(and so I adore the quote, too, obviously)! the title drew me in and the first verse tied me, the second one made me speechless and the last one released me only after a bit of struggling:)
I'm still marvelling at how clever the second verse is, first I didn't read the second and third line as one/belonging together and that worked for me, too... reading them as one makes it all fall into place a bit more nicely even. you could read the words in the brackets as one thing also, like : from harm, you think. you ask. (security/being sure of it---> doubts)
and I'm very fond of this one here:
"do you believe in love?" (you ask)
i can't lie "Just slightly."
and you still look at me with hope!!!!
can't find anything really big you'd need to improve, in my eyes it's dam.n great:)
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hi'Ya Geoffrey ,
Yes I to thought this was pretty darn good
nice lines through your verses
I stumbled for a little bit before I found the flow
but after I did I thought this is terrific
keep up the good writting
cheers
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
Hey Geoffrey!
Great stuff here! I don't know if you have any ideas for the music yet, but it felt all quite fast and frantic to me!
i will but i don't rightly
know how the hell i made (you think)
you think of me so highly
- brilliant line, IMO.
Keep it up!
G
Listen Louder Than You Play
