hey. admittedly rather loosely connected to the assignment. but i started with the best intentions. promise.
Winter Set Head
The winter clings dark to the window
It's still early in the evening and I'm on the tram home
With dead thoughts piling up, graves I have lost count of
And suddenly it occurs to me
Not to get off at the next stop
Stick to the seat and see where it leads me
But I never do it.
This idea is no more animate, in fact, it has long been sentenced to death
It just keeps walking around like a ghost in my head
The winter clings cold to my shadow
As I'm wasting hopes waiting on trains to pass, you know
With dead words piling up, graves I have lost count of
And suddenly it occurs to me
To step on the tracks
Just to observe the effect it might have
But I never do it.
This idea is no more animate, in fact, it has long been sentenced to death
It just keeps walking around like a ghost in my head
They just keep sleepwalking in my head.
in a way it's a (not so daily maybe) routine of mine.. thinking weird thoughts that never make it into reality, in some cases definitely better this way;)
the assignment probably aimed at something different, but.. well.. it's been there before and i have done that before, so that thing here's something else.
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
I like the way the first verse and the second verse are different, yet similar....
In this couplet,
"The winter clings dark to the window
It's still early in the evening and I'm on the tram home"
you could possibly use
"The winter clings darkly to the window,
Though still early evening, and I'm on the tram home"
just to stress how early it does get dark in winter.....like you've used the very last line, "They just keep sleepwalking in my head" for extra emphasis.....
Fits the assignment fine....no, fits the (SUGGESTED) TOPIC fine - "assignment" makes it sound like a school essay, and that means work instead of pleasure.......
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hey since you have had the name change I found a nice pic you could use as a avatar , just save it to a word document or something and remove the S off the end ( :lol: :lol: )
No its' not that rock-a-billy band from years ago :lol: :lol:
I think we all have some weird thoughts rolling around in our heads or is that just me ?
To me this is a fantacy song where anything could happen { and most likely will if one opens their mind up ..
Once again I will highlight a few lines that really sound good to me
This idea is no more animate, in fact, it has long been sentenced to death
It just keeps walking around like a ghost in my head
This idea is no more animate, in fact, it has long been sentenced to death
It just keeps walking around like a ghost in my head
Great lines them
Hilch / Barnabus Rock / Trev..
Or anything else you want to scream out in anger :lol: :lol: :lol:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Good lyrics. :) Just felt like pointing out that phrases like 'in fact' can be pretty hard to use without having them sound like 'filler'. I myself like to stay away from something like that just because of the practical difficulty. Just some advice from someone without too much experience.
Arjen's got a point, phrases like "in fact" can be seen as fillers - if OVERUSED......I don't think that applies here though, it helps connect two fairly long phrases, and helps to lead one into the other......
I think here it helps to serve as a differentiating phrase - along the lines of "you thought I meant one thing, but in fact I meant the other...." the phrase "in fact" here adds emphasis to the conjunction "but," although it could be argued that "in fact" makes "but" redundant.......
well that's my take on it any way - 'tis verily a strange and beguiling language, is the English which we speak.....
or in my best Lancashire -"what the bloody 'ell are y'on abaht?"
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Straycat
There's a dark mood set to this song by the opening lines which continues to get darker as it progresses to the cotemplation of walking onto the tracks. It.s a good way of interpreting the topic for this week as it considers breaking from the routine - kind of a what if situation.
Vic's suggestion tidies up your first few lines quite nicely - may be worth considering
God stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
hi.
vic, your suggestion is definitely better grammatically... i just like the way it sounds in my head- "the winter clings _ dark to the window"... hm... i'll probably keep my line the way it is.. thanks for bothering though :D
"school essay, and that means work instead of pleasure....... " oh that rings so true... make that a paragraph for the seminar in american studies (about one image in frost's "design") ... :wink:
and i'm glad you found a justification for keeping "in fact", because, in fact, i do like "in fact" a lot:)
trev, i see you're really fond of my new name;) you just keep telling my all about that band:) not that i mind though :wink: (i won't use that picture, but thank you for suggesting it)
thank you all for commenting. glad you like it, although bob might exaggerate a bit ... "God stuff" ... :lol: funny typo.
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
