second song on ssg! The first one took like not time to write, this one is a song that I had been thinking about for awhile, but thought of immediately when I saw the topic. So I actually wrote more than the first three lines and the chorus. This song has a cool groove too it when played that I reall like and enjoy playing the verse chords are D, G, Em, then 3rd fret a string, 2nd fret on d..it's some C but i'm not sure which... anyway then slide that up to 5th fret and 4th fret.
Before I start strumming the D I do a down up down scratch a ticka-ticka-ticka for a lack of better term.
the chorus is just C, Dm, Em.
I'm sorry if none of the music makes any sense to you guys. I'll try to post an mp3 next week. I have the capability. I'm just really lazy. Anyway...lyrics...
the way i've been living
it seems more like dreaming
I need to open up my eyes
The way I've been moving
just dazing and drifting
It has helped me realize
I need to
Go
walk out the door
run down the street like you never have before
Because I know
it's time to live my life
start appreciating
your life has been waiting
feel the grass under your feet
stop anticipating
and start participating
we're meant to be incomplete
Go
walk out the door
run down the street like you never have before
Because I know
it's time to live my life
your routines
are no routes for me
it's time to live my life
your routines
are no routes for me
it's time to live my life
I can't wait for someone to say something worth quoting here...
Oh and just as a side not I haven't really come up with a guitar part for those two outro parts because the rhythm changes. just incase you guys were wondering why I didn't attempt to *explain* the guitar part over the internet to you.
Kevin
I can't wait for someone to say something worth quoting here...
homestar_kevin welcome
As I have not seen you in here before
Simplistic but yet effective
Looking forward to reading more
B R
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Looks OK to me, but what jumped out at me was, the first couple of verses are written first person, then it jumps to second person.......
for example,
"
I need to
Go
walk out the door
run down the street like you never have before
Because I know
it's time to live my life "............
"Run down the street like I never have before" would read much better.....
with this verse,
"start appreciating
your life has been waiting
feel the grass under your feet"
it kind of loses focus, because I'm no longer sure whether you're still telling yourself to drag yourself out of a rut, or you're addressing someone else and criticising their lifestyle.....
"start appreciating
MY life has been waiting
feel the grass under MY feet"........again would read better.....although the first "MY" isn't strictly necessary.....
Then at the end, you're back to "me" and "my".....that works fine.....YOUR (meaning the average 9-to-5'er) routines works OK, "Your" adds a little emphasis, but I'm not sure if that's strictly needed......
You've got about 90% of a good song here, it just needs to be slightly more focussed, stick to the first person - POV of the narrator/protagonist.......and it'll work fine.....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
PS - if you're playing 3rd fret A string and 2nd fret D string, then with the rest of the strings (G B & E) open, it's a Cmaj7 chord.......
E A D G B E
x 3 2 0 0 0
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Thaank you both for the advice! good call on the Cmaj7 vic! yeah this song is kinda wierd for me. I wrote the first couple of lines awhile ago and this weeks topic reminded me of it alot, so I brought it back and finally finished it. I appreciate all the compliments and am eager to finish this one. haha
Thanks
Kevin
I can't wait for someone to say something worth quoting here...
just to reiterate what I said a while back - to someone else - never throw anything out! That line you like, but that doesn't quite fit this song, might be perfect for the one you write next week - or next year.....
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Just to reiterate what I said to someone else a while ago - never throw anything out! That line you like, that doesn't quite fit this song, might fit perfectly into the one you write next week - or next year........
And as for, " am eager to finish this one."......well GET ON WITH IT THEN!
(Just joking!)
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Kevin
This has some really good writing throughout I particularly like
stop anticipating
and start participating
we're meant to be incomplete
However, the chorus reminds me of Gloria Gaynor's - I will survive - Go Walk Out The Door - I'd definitely be looking to reword that line in some fashion.
Otherwise good stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
