Y6W33 - Beauty, Sleeping (with MP3)

Hey Vic :D

Nicely done.
A mix of Hendrix and his Idol: Bob Dylan.

Sorry I haven't been around.... Didn't get any sleep on Fathers Day; Been gettin' slammed at work.
So I'm in zombie land.
Have a terrible headache right now that even my double shot lattes can't touch! :shock:

So - If my writing seems to get a bit short.... :wink:

Anyway ~
Looks like you had some fun with the assignment! :D

I do have some constructive criticism, for what that's worth....

You have four vivid verses with a common thread.... though nothing to tie them together with.

Using a fav Hendrix song as an example, what we have so far is this:

After all the jacks are in their boxes
And the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness staggering on down the street
Footsteps dressed in red

A broom is drearily sweeping
Up the broken pieces of yesterdays life
Somewhere a queen is weeping
Somewhere a king has no wife

The traffic lights, they turn, uh, blue tomorrow
And shine their emptiness down on my bed
The tiny island sags down stream
cause the life that lived is,
Is dead

What's missing....?
The Wind Cries Mary.

What Hendrix seems to have done in that song at least, is instead of coming up with a chorus....
He uses an evolving form of the title phrase [The Wind Cries Mary] in the poetic device: epistrophe to tie all the verses together and provide a resolution both lyrically and musically.

Then he has a jingly/chorusy/rave up type of last verse, again leading into a finish of a version of - The Wind Cries Mary.

Don'know if you want to change anything.... Just thought I'd throw that out to ya.

Great job!
Really like it 8)

Ken

Thanks for the kind words, Ken!

I kind of took my inspiration from "Little Wing" - the line about "Zebras and fairytales." So the common theme would be the Tale of Sleeping Beauty....what I tried to do was use the first two lines of each verse to set the scene, so to speak, and the third to let you know what's actually happening.

The bridge was slightly different - the first two verses hinted at the story, the bridge gives it away. Then the last verse - well, always leave your audience wanting more! Hopefully by now said audience has realised what the story is, and how it ends, so the image of the horseman aprroaching the castle will leave a strong mental image.

You're right - I did have a lot of fun writing this. Yes, it's a huge departure from my normal style - I just wish I could get that kind of imagery into every song. Some people seem to have no trouble whatsoever creating vivid sound-paintings (casts envious glance in Straycat's direction.....) but I can assure you it is far from easy for me!

I think this was one of those one-off exercises where everything seems to fall into place of its own accord - from conception to recording only took just over a day. I hope it isn't though - I'd love to be able to write something like this again!

BTW, do I get an extra brownie point as this qualifies for LAST weeks topic as well? Take a fictional character......

:D :D :D

Vic

I didn't get the Hendrix :oops: then again I don't know much of his stuff.
I did notice the difference to your usual style - the mp3 was really surprising (in a good way!) :D
..and again you've come up with music and I haven't even picked an artist yet............ :wink:
and then that bonus cookie (I'm out of brownies, sorry) for Sleeping Beauty.. my, my :wink:

cheers,
straycat.