Y7W16 - Its Hard To Love a Cowboy

Ernie,

Don't worry, I haven't left you a lone. :|
#1 Maybe Asia is rubbing off on me...The nail that sticks out gets the hammer
#2 Ken keeps houndin' about da' boys
#3 I am waiting for my duet partner to learn the song and fit me into her busy schedule

Now to YOUR song :wink:
It looks like you have a pretty good handle on the main characters and the mood.

Suggestion:
Consider making the verses more of a dialog about what the cowboy and wife are saying to themselves or eachother and cut back on the narrative, point of view...fill in the emotion with the details...."she blows out the candles and tosses another cold home cooked meal to the dog/ in the trash"...what were the promises made to eachother?.. is this temporary or permanent?..is she resigned to stick it out or on the verge of leaving?...what drives the cowboy? what will he do when he gets too old? any sons? etc...

James

Yeah, I'm missing the duet element of it too. I think the verses are very good, so maybe the chorus could be her telling how hard it is to love a cowboy cos he's always away roping steers, drinking beers, cooking pork & beans - but avoid that scene from Blazing Saddles - etc.

A :-)

Yeah, I'm missing the duet element of it too. I think the verses are very good, so maybe the chorus could be her telling how hard it is to love a cowboy cos he's always away roping steers, drinking beers, cooking pork & beans

:lol: How can you NOT think Blazing Saddles. Impossible.

Duet, yup, I suppose his horse could always sing back to him...

Sorry, not very constructive... :roll:

Rock on!
D 8)

I can see the duet part alright.
At first I thought it should be written in first person

I could never, compromise
Ridin' the range
Is in my soul

But that didn't seem to make a difference.

I think it lacks some action . . . or some message . . . or have some type of closure.

KR2

The first two verses are the male voice, the latter two the female. There is no chorus yet. Basically they love each other. She knew what she was getting into. They are out in the middle of nowhere and it is 1840 or something. He goes off for 2 or 3 weeks at a time to provide for his family. It is all he knows. It's not going to end or anything except and he always comes back. But maybe he won't. Or maybe I need some bandits. They come through, ransack the house, set the horses free, and take her hostage. He comes back and goes from cowboy to vigilante. Using the tracking kills he learned while living with the Cherokee he tracks them down and saves her. Not an origional story but....... :roll: I think I've read too many Louis L'Amour paperbacks.

I started out with first person but switched later.

Some good suggestions to go with.

It's not going to end or anything except and he always comes back. But maybe he won't. Or maybe I need some bandits. They come through, ransack the house, set the horses free, and take her hostage. He comes back and goes from cowboy to vigilante. Using the tracking kills he learned while living with the Cherokee he tracks them down and saves her.
I like it.
Make them banditos . . . good luck rhyming that word . . .
I say go ahead and kill her off . . . . and then he becomes a wandering cowboy looking for them . . .
. . . the rest of his life (because he never did live with the Cherokees . . . that was just something he said to impress her). . . and the wolves howl . . . and the wind blows through the tumbleweeds (gotta mention tumbleweeds) . . .
. . . fade into the ending with the sun setting over a desert with the outlines of cacti . . .

She welcomed them with a smile
When they rode up to the farm
I never occurred to her
That they meant her harm

KR2

Fritos 8)

I don't know. Life issues are bearing down on me. I feel the songwriting losing it's grip. Got chickens ta tend but hopefully I can keep a foot in here.

stik

So far it seems you've got something going here.

I think that maybe for the duet part, you could keep the verses the same, even have the male sing them, but you could add a female voice underneath the male during the female veres, kind of off in the distance and off a half beat, like the main character is thinking it, and so is the female, but there thoughts are off just a bit.

Does that make any sense, I can't really seem to explain it all that well, but maybe like the following:
A cowboy's life, is a lonely life
He could never, compromise
Ridin' the range
Is in his soul

Here have the male vocalist only maybe
He never looks back, as he rides away
Never a glance, to the children at play
Not even a nod to the woman
Who clutches her heart

Here possible have the female voice underneath and off in the distance so to speak
She thinks of him, all day and all night
Wishes she had him, safe in her sight
When it's cold and dark
And the coyotes bark
And then here: She's thinks of him, all day and night -- sing this part in the narrative voice, but have the female sing off beat with "I think of him, all day and night. Kind of like:

She's thinks of him, all day and night
I think of him all day and night

This isn't formatting right, but the "I think of him all day and night" should be underneath the "All day and night"

I dunno, it's all I got LOL.

Being a country music fan, I was immediately interested in checking out this song strictly based on the title. I like the direction you're going with the story; I also would heartily recommend some of the directions suggested by other members -- this could make a great murder ballad if you tweaked it just so. I did have one question regarding your syllabic rhythm...do you want to rhyme this song or do you want it free-form? I noticed that you went out of your way to rhyme a few lines here and there, but there didn't seem to be any specific structure you were going for. Could you clear this up for me? I think the song might benefit from a somewhat more coherent rhythmic structure, but that's just my opinion. Content-wise I think you have it nailed!

Thanks for the feedback jimmy. I'm not dead set on rhyming but I can work harder at it if it will help. I've actually been rethinking of this song as the story of a modern day redeo cowboy and his family. Similar circumstances though. As far as a murder ballad well I'd like it if it started out kind of sentimental and sweet and then have it turn tail and get really murderous somehow.

Something along these lines:

Hard To Love a Cowboy (male female duet)

(male)
I'm just a cowboy
Out on the road
Makin' my livin'
In the rodeo

I'm sorry darlin'
It's all I know
Kiss our little baby
Let her watch her favorite shows

(female)
I think of you day and night
Wish I had you safe in my sight
When it's cold and dark
And the coyotes bark

I'll just tighten my apron once more
And go back to washin' the floor
I'll try to ignore the lines of progress and fear
On the face you hold so dear

(maybe a chorus)
A cowboy's life, is a lonely life
He could never, compromise
Ridin' the range
Is in his soul
He never looks back, as he rides away
Never a glance, to the children at play
Not even a nod to the woman
Who clutches her heart
It's hard to love a cowboy ---------female
(cowboy's wife) --male

(another idea for the chorus – our life is a lonely life, but we could never compromise and then some new lyrics to match that.)