Train of Thought
I got on at Ashdown Forest
Though the direction was all wrong
I dozed all through the landscapes
Of minor day descriptions
And refused to shake a hand
I must have missed a couple of stops
Where you or someone else
Had been waiting for me to get off
I sat beside phantom ache for a while
To the sound of distant song or lightning
Until a book called out
And I am still sprawled on the floor of my attic room
As two houses collapse in Cologne
...and now I'm almost on the train to Berlin to catch one of two buses to Cardiff :D
Cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Straycat,
Wow! A timely tragedy for inspiration. :shock:
This is the incident you are referring to. Yes?
Cologne building collapses, at least 2 missing 2009-03-04 11:08:27
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-03/04/content_10940663.htm
I think that one of the worst ways to die would be in the ruble of a collapsed building and the horror of the family members standing by waiting to find survivors.
Very intriguing lyrics. Nice job!
James
Correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems like the narrator/protagonist is thinking out loud while daydreaming - and then is brought back to earth as reality intrudes in the shape of unfinished study (autobiographical?) and the news...
That's how it works for me, anyway. Like I said in a different post, I have a vivid imagination - I can almost see the soft focus video for this, with a sudden cut at the end to a news programme showing the disaster....
I could see this working well as a kind of low key, Jim-Morrison type song - minimalist music, almost-spoken softly voiced lyrics, building up to a loud crescendo where the sudden reality of everyday desperation creeps in..
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
but this seems like the narrator/protagonist is thinking out loud while daydreaming - and then is brought back to earth as reality intrudes in the shape of unfinished study (autobiographical?) and the news...
Could be...maybe I was overdramatising. I thought is was a victim under the rubble passed out and dreaming and then waking up to the horror of the situation.....only Straycat can straighten it out for us....HELP!!!!
The story is kind of disjointed though.
Going for a train ride . . . watching the landscape go by . . . daydreaming . . . so much so, you miss your stop . . .
and who is this fella you were sitting by? . . . phantom ache? . . . one of those guys your mother warns you about? . . . or a sad memory? . . .
. . . and then all of a sudden you're sprawled out on the floor of your attic, (writing these lyrics?) being snapped back to reality by the local TV news of a tragic buildings collapse.
Like Vic said, the scenes would make for a video . . . call it Daydream Tripper . . . no wait, that's been done.
You don't HAVE to explain yourself . . . but if you keep us in the dark . . . we'll stay lost.
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Like Vic said, the scenes would make for a video . . .
You don't HAVE to explain yourself . . . but if you keep us in the dark . . . we'll stay lost.
KR2
I say; Don't explain yourself, keep us in the dark and retitle the song: Stay Lost :D
Ken :wink:
"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway
"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles
Of course, half the fun of Straycat's songs is in the interpretation - you've got two different interpretations there, but both of them, to my mind, equally valid.
Keep your readers in suspense, Anne!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
I say; Don't explain yourself, keep us in the dark and retitle the song: Stay Lost
Yeh, yeh . . .
We've said this before . . . part of the allure . . . is the mystery. . . . keep 'em guessing . . . it piques curiosity.
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
:lol: thanks to all of you! according to the wishes of some individuals, i will only say as much as: you're close! :D
cheers,
straycat. :D
btw really like "stay lost" as a title! now that that week's over, i might be safe in re-titling it thus :D
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Call it whatever you like - "Train Of Thought" was only a starting point. I've said it before - there aren't any hard-and-fast rules here, just guidelines - like the art of songwriting itself.
But now you've got me wondering - HOW close? Grrrrrrr............
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
