A song that's vaguely on topic ;). Basically got inspired by the omen (Is it an omen?) That winter is coming when the birds fly south. So wrote a vague love song-ish thing.. hehe. Thoughts?
D Bm A A4
D Bm G A D
Birds fly south for the winter
And you are flying away
Birds come back for the summer time
And you are back to stay
Make up your mind
Oh You've come and gone
And the seasons change
They don't last so long
Make up your mind
Why can't you decide?
If it's me you want
If not, don't fly home this time
Birds fly south for the winter time
And you are flying their way
Birds come back for some sunshine
And you are back to stay
Which way will you go
Oh I have to know
Will you fly my way
Or will you leave me alone?
Make up your mind
Oh You've come and gone
And the seasons change
They don't last so long
Make up your mind
Why can't you decide?
If it's me you want
If not, don't fly home this time
Birds fly south for the winter
And you are flying away
Birds come back for the summer time
But are you back to stay?
Reads pretty well to me, Jay - although I do have a minor quibble.
1st verse - "and you are back to stay" - is immediately followed by "make up your mind," ie you don't know whether the subject is back to stay or not. This happens again later in the song....
So maybe, "and you are back to stay" would be better phrased as a question throughout, as it is at the very end?
Apart from the slight confusion there, I think you've got a good song - I like the subtle changes in the repeated choruses, although "some sunshine" doesn't come across too well - maybe "the sunshine" would read and sound better. Sort out the questions from the declarations and you're there.........
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Jay,
Good start :D I agree with Vic about the stay or leaving discrepancy and I like his turning it into a question as well.
Suggestion: Consider moving the content of the song in a specific direction. Most of the song seems a set up as to the situation...singee comes and goes.....singer doesn't understand why.....maybe explore why the singee comes and goes...or why the singer wants the singee to stay......why doesn't the singer fly away with the singee or plot out their own get away etc...so nice set up next would be to flesh out the details.
Thanks for sharing.
James
lovely omen imagery :D
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
