hi :) busy bee week, just finished the lyrics, this simple tune will be recorded and uploaded, hm, let's say tomorrow :wink: haven't even managed to look at all of your posts for this week yet, hope i'll be able to do that tomorrow, too :oops:
toots said the twit
Em A Em A
i cross my fingers for the thick letters
Em A Em A
i don't want to get a thin one again
Em A Dm A Em
i wish you had come with an instruction manual
Em A Em A
i cradle insomnia, like my sore throat tablets
Em A Em A
i hate both of them, but at least they are here
Em A Dm A Em
i wish you had come with a package insert
Em A Em A
i try to read the drawings on your skin
Em A Em A
but the author really is dead it seems
Em A Dm A Em
and i wish you had come with a reader's guide from Oxbridge
Em A Em A
now this Sunday is going straight for Monday
Em A Em A
i thought you would visit but you won't
Em A Em A
my arms fall asleep under a book
Em Bm Em A
but i don't
Em A Em A
it's quarter past three, i'm on the phone
Em A Em A
for my friend she's walking home alone
Em A Dm A Em
she always calls me ‘cause i'm always awake
Bm E
she laughs when i say
A Bm E A Em A
i wish you had come with an instruction ma nu al
:D
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
later than i thought, but demo up here now:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=261882
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hi Straycat,
You've got a lot of clever lines in this one. :D
"i thought you would visit but you won't"
could be
"i thought you would visit but you didn't"
I know you are rhyming "won't/don't" but it comes across a bit awkward.
Thanks for posting the mp3 as well. It could use a bit more aligning of the melody and lyrics, but it's well underway...and I can still here it in my head while I am posting this.
James
PS I am clueless on the title meaning. :?
So I am new to this forum and just going to jump right in. I dig this song and it's simple strumming, quirky melody and lo-fi quality. I really liked the windmill sound which almost seems to serve as the chorus. The lyrics are very clever, I like the cadence of the lyrics and the flow of the song. The singing comes across very heartfelt and a bit sad. It does get a bit choppy and out of sync at a few points but with a little work can be tightened up. Personally, I have a hard time writing songs that really don't have a rhyming pattern to them and you have done this quite well. Overall a pretty good first draft.
As for what the song is about. I assume the windmill sound is related to the thumbnail drawing of what looks like Don Quiote and a flower windmill. I am not that familiar with The Man from La Mancha and its deeper meanings so I am not sure how they relate to the song. My interpretation of the lyrics is that the story teller is a person who does not sleep that well and spends his time trying to understand a friend or love interest that they would like to know better. They wish they could read this person like a book (maybe that is the association to the Don Quiote) so that they could be closer to this person. The storyteller seems to be book smart, intelligent and likes to read but may be shy or socially awkward, Nerdy even. The Title "Toots said the Twit" could have some sort of connection to a low self esteem issue the story teller may have and refers to himself as a "Twit" Maybe Toots is the name of the person the narrator would like to know better.
Thanks for sharing
Wow, I wish I could read that much into a song.....but then again, I've found from long experience (going on for 6 years now!) that I don't have to TOTALLY understand your lyrics, as long as I get the general gist and the Straycat imagery's painting those mental pictures for me, all is well with the world.
This one I like - simple, but plaintive. Seems like you're still struggling with singing and playing at the same time, hey, I've been playing guitar since before you were born and I'm still struggling with it too!
BTW, there's a song in the charts over here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLBzGnTqWT4 - the singer really reminds me of you, just the way she says certain phrases......have a listen, see what you think.
Keep 'em coming!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Thanks for all your comments :D
As for "won't" and "don't", I see your point.. however, I thought of the "twit" waiting all day for the visit and at the point in time of this line, she/he has given up hope (therefore, "i thought", past tense) although, technically, the day isn't over yet and the visit could still become reality (therefore, "you won't"). Makes sense?
As to the meaning of the title, Chongolio has basically explained it :wink: (Might just add that the twit has been called a twit by the person whom she/he calls toots... was not meant seriously, really, no offence... but the twit might really be a twit after all, seeing how she/he makes her-/himself wait, the dependence.... ?? :wink: )
Wow, I wish I could read that much into a song Ditto! :D
Chongolio, I am afraid the windmill sound was really supposed to be rain drops, but I really like your interpretation, it's a beautiful extension of my picture (er.. both literally, the drawing, and virtually, my idea of the song's meaning :D )! Don Quixote to me (haven't yet read the original, just a marvellous and melancholy children's book version by Erick Kästner) is a representative of battling your feelings of helplessness and also of preservering (keep up the fight against the windmills!) no matter what, no matter how ridiculous it may make you. And, in a way, that's the feeling in the song, as well.
So glad you liked the mp3, too! I am very aware of all my shortcomings in the actual composing, playing, singing, recording field, so it's great to be encouraged like this :D
Well, yes, it's been some years now, Vic, hasn't it :D And we're still battling the windmills :wink: Thank you for the link to Taken by Trees (what a beautiful name for a band!), really like the song. Was pleasantly surprised to find she's from Sweden! (First thought similiarities in pronounciation/intonation may be thanks to similar influences, like Conor Oberst's way of singing, but now I'm wondering if this means I'm aquiring a Swedish accent :lol: )
Thank you for listening and for your encouragement!
Off I go beaming :wink:
Cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
In my attempts to write my own song I find myself taking apart songs and trying to figure out what makes the one I find intriguing work. Straycat's song had a mysterious allure to it and as I said in my post I get stuck in the rhyming trap and I want to figure out how to get out of it.
Good luck with getting those windmills in line, you have a comrade in arms!
I think I'm getting better at understanding what you're trying to do in your songs, so here are my comments:
"I cross my fingers for a fat letter"
It sound better, to me at least. It kind of reminds me of 'fat cheque'.
"i cradle insomnia, like my sore throat tablets
i hate both of them, but at least they are here"
These are some great lines!
"i try to read the drawings on your skin
but the author really is dead it seems"
The line the author really is dead is kind of jarring, first there's the sweet "drawings on your skin" and then you're talking about death!I assume you're referring to God in which case it would be an ok image, but I expected something romantic but I got a dead author, so that was weird.
I'd also switch the last sentences of the first and second verse, then you'd get a nice progression:
i wish you had come with a package insert
i wish you had come with an instruction manual
i wish you had come with a reader's guide from Oxbridge
From insert (one page) to manual (booklet) to guide (book). Also if you were to write another verse you could wish for "a dictionary Me - You" :wink:
Anyway, do with my comments what you like.
Somehow your voice /style reminds me more of Cat Power (link here). She also dislikes rhyme :wink:
