I statrted working on this song in August or September. It was originally a solo but for this I've rewriten it as a duet. The voices are a father and his grown child. The child voice could be male or female. Like Larry's Song, this is inspired by the life of a friend.
They say that writers do better when they write about something they know. I find I am reluctant to write about myself but that somehow I can take other's stories and turn them into something.
I may add an MP3 of me singing the solo but I don't have the multitrack skills to overdub a second voice.
solo acapella: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10013294
Somebody in Your Eyes - Duet
(first voice)
I want to be somebody in your eyes again someday
I want to be somebody in your eyes again someday
Took a drink to ease my head
The drink took me instead
A good man would never have been swept away
I'm here to tell you that I was wrong
If you want, I'll be gone
I want to be somebody in your eyes again someday.
(second voice)
I've got nothing to say to you Dad
I've got nothing to say to you Dad
My innocence was broken
If this is just a token
Please turn around and go away
The memories I hold
Just leave me cold
I've got nothing to say to you Dad
(first voice)
I hope to be a part of your life again someday
I hope to be a part of your life again someday
Who knows what the future holds
As we trudge this winding road
Trying to be a better man day by day.
You were a child, I broke your spirit
Now you may not want to hear it
I hope to be a part of your life again someday
(duet)
I want to have peace in my soul someday
I want to have peace in my soul someday
This is a heart that's full of pain
I can see your hearts the same
God, help me please to find a way
The future is not sealed
There is hope we can be healed
I want to have peace in my soul someday
break
(first voice)
I was wrong
But I'm hoping that you'll say
I might be somebody in your eyes again someday
Hi Mr. E!
This definitely works as a duet quite nicely. I'm not sure that anyone would use a phrase like "...as the sheaths of time unfold..." in conversation, but that's a quibble.
Looking forward to more.
Peace
Hi Mr. E!
This definitely works as a duet quite nicely. I'm not sure that anyone would use a phrase like "...as the sheaths of time unfold..." in conversation, but that's a quibble.
Looking forward to more.
Peace
Yeah, I am struggling with that line too. I had tried different things on this line before I hit send this morning. Got any suggestions for a replacement line?
Got any suggestions for a replacement line?
stories waiting to be told
or
love can heal so I'm told
Hi MrEWorm,
I didn't have time to post much the first time I read through this, but I like it a lot :D
I still agree with Dave that the line he mentioned could use some tweaking, but the rest reads like raw honesty and looks very powerful.
Thanks for sharing :D
James
I edited the line to read
"As the leaves of time unfold"
It seems less awkward than sheaves of time.
That's definitely better.
Another possibility might be to go with a near rhyme:
Who knows what the future holds
As we down this winding road
Peace
That's definitely better.
Another possibility might be to go with a near rhyme:
Who knows what the future holds
As we down this winding road
Peace
done
Who knows what the future holds
As we down this winding road
How about:
Heading down this winding road
or
Traveling down this winding road
or
Stumbling down this winding road
"As we down this winding road" makes me think of drinking something
As we trudge this winding road
As we trudge this winding road
That could work as it might indicate a damaged road....or maybe something that indicates a "slippery" road with steep cliffs...or somehow unsafe.....making the road the metaphor for the relationship.....hazardous, damaged, dangerous, but desired to repair the relationship
Added an MP3 - this is a solo acapella version
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10013294
Nice melody and delivery on the mp3 :D
Thanks for sharing.
