Wow, very creative. The title matches the content perfectly!! Friday night its cherry lips a ruby dress and a broken hearted crimson mess At the bar s...

I see it as a little sing-songy thing that kids would sing (one of those "spooky" story-songs). Good rhythm, on the whole.your line: Chestnut Road –...

Interesting triplet pattern.It isn't used too often, and you did the rhyming well.I like "Love songs don't work, cos they grow old"- rubber ducky

Oh, very very good point (about the metaphors). I'm going to do some rewriting; I think I'll try to move everything over to the running metaphor.Thank...

Dear putty,Wow. Amazing work. I really like your rhyme scheme throughout the song.I like in verse twoThe brutal, twisted fate that makes men hate an...