hey look its another song by me. just hopin for some feedback good or bad =)
and I know its a lil cliche
Intro
I've got to live or Die Trying
No Longer Can I be shackled by this place
I've got to escape and never look back
I've got to live or Die trying
I speak the voice that is 10 thousand strong
we want our freedom before were dead and gone
We refuse to give up like the 10 thousand before
We want our freedom
We want our freedom
We want to live before we die
I've got to live or die trying
I'm in a rut no place to go
Freedom, its my only hope
I've got to live or die trying
I speak the voice that is 10 thousand strong
we want our freedom before were dead and gone
We refuse to give up like the 10 thousand before
Musical Bridge
I've got to live or die trying
I'm a prisoner of myself
No where to go no place to run
Gotta get away and live free
I speak the voice that is 10 thousand strong
we want our freedom before were dead and gone
We refuse to give up like the 10 thousand before
We want our freedom
We want our freedom
WE WANT OUR FREEDOM
Before we all end up dead
Ending (same as musical bridge)
"I named my son Marshall, yeah I named him after the amp. Of course that wasnt my first choice, I was gonna name him Peavy but my wife didnt like it."- Ron "Tater Salad" White
this is fairly good, in other words, it's great, but it's not a complete thought
it gives the ring of "rebel without a cause" I have no idea what's holding you down, so I have the right to assume that you may be whining instead of protesting(I apologize if I'm being to harsh, but...)
think of a really great protest/inspirational song, I'm thinking of "Keep On Rockin' In the Free World", Neil Young was pissed off for some of those verses, you can tell because he can supply so many different instances in so many different partrs of life as he explains himself. That is the substance of the song. After that you can really rally people up by tellin' them to keep on rockin' in the free world.
sorry, I'd say some more but I'm choking on a cheez-it
I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!
Thanks for the input. I felt like it needed something to give it a little extra something. youve given me a few ideas. Thanks again
"I named my son Marshall, yeah I named him after the amp. Of course that wasnt my first choice, I was gonna name him Peavy but my wife didnt like it."- Ron "Tater Salad" White
Ok I redid up the verses becuase I Really like my chorus. Since the chorus is saying about being a voice of ten thousand I tried to take 3 different situations of trying to get freedom. this is really ruff but im really workin on this song because I want this to be like my first fully developed song. enough splainin.
v1:
Ive got to live or die trying
You tied me down, you clipped my wings
Your Child I was to forever be
but You dont understand that I need to be free
v2:
Ive got to live or die tyring
IVe been shakled by your threats of faliure
Tried to tell me I needed your 9 to 5
but i'm breakin free im living my dream
v3:
Ive got to live or die trying
IVe been a prisoner of myself
fears been chasing me for way to long
Im taking my first step to freedom
"I named my son Marshall, yeah I named him after the amp. Of course that wasnt my first choice, I was gonna name him Peavy but my wife didnt like it."- Ron "Tater Salad" White
that's better, you've defined your enemy, and you've given something people can relate to, now I think before this can be a real base to work from, you'll need to define your dream, what makes your dream make you happy, why do you want it, and what willl you do to keep it
I'm still not convinced you completely believe in what you're saying, but at least you are saying something :D
keep on this, you're gonna be proud of it
I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!
