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Blow myself up


(@nolongerme)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
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Blow myself up
Stick pins in my heart
Slit my wrists
That's how I'll start

Cinch my neck
Pull the trigger
Pop the pills
It's a grave digger

Jump in the ocean
Won't hold my breath
This is the surest way
To reach out to death

Kill someone else
They'll hunt me
Get myself shot
There goes the sad me

Breathe monoxide
Don't breathe at all
Swallow acid
Grip the wall

O'D on something
Maybe on nothing
Leave a note
Here's what I wrote

To all you who read
Tears first is what I cried
Tears first before I died
Not for me but for you
Cuz you're stuck here
But now I'm through

Ouch…ouch…ouch…mmmmmmmhmmmhm HMM…there's something in the way


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 Anonymous
Joined: 52 years ago
Posts: 0
 

WOW. Possibly the darkest song I've read on here so far.

That being said, I thought it was awsome! :)

What music are you going for with this? I can feel it's gonna be a bit dark too lol

Pete


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(@nolongerme)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
Topic starter  

I was thinking of something like Nirvana. I can't play or sing like them though...lol

Thanks Pete


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(@ghost)
Prominent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 833
 

Dang James!

I agree with Pete. Wow! You sure stepped outside of what you usually write.

The Nirvana style for the song sounds good.

"If I had a time machine, I'd go back and tell me to practise that bloody guitar!" -Vic Lewis

Everything is 42..... again.


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(@nolongerme)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
Topic starter  

Thanks Ghost!

I'm going to try to write some music for this one...


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(@rag_doll_92)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 261
 

Shoot James that was awsome.
Dang you write good :)

PM me some time :)

Join the fight to stop global warming...
Join the virtual march at: http://www.stopglobalwarming.org
We CAN make a diffrence!


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(@nolongerme)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
Topic starter  

Thanks ragdoll!

will do


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(@spino)
Active Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 8
 

Cool ! Hope it's not the Truth .


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(@purple)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 346
 

So much for subtlety . Am I totally nuts or is there a little bit of Dr. Seuss quality to the song? I love Dr. Seuss so I don't mean that in a bad way at all just an observation.
Jump in the ocean
Won't hold my breath
This is the surest way
To reach out to death
Could I be so bold as to give an alternate idea here? In the last line, it is fairly obvious you are reaching out to death so maybe you could change the line from death to depths - 'To reach the deepest depths' or something like that. The idea of depths is symbolic for depression and death and you are also physically sinking in the ocean. Just a thought....

Happy writing,
Purple

It's not easy being green.... good thing I'm purple.


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(@nolongerme)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
Topic starter  

Thanks Spino and purple. Thanks for the idea!


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(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 112
 

Jgrubb....I love it............I thought of a nursery rhyme theme when I started reading.....kind of a satire thing...maybe some one who had been through a chain of events, that have come around full circle so to speak....
4th stanza opinion:

"Kill someone else
They'll hunt me
Get myself shot
There goes the sad me "

as maybe:

kill someone else
They`ll hunt me down
it`s still suicide
the other way round
...or not......if you put it to music..send a message..would love to hear it..cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


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(@nolongerme)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
Topic starter  

Jgrubb....I love it............I thought of a nursery rhyme theme when I started reading.....kind of a satire thing...maybe some one who had been through a chain of events, that have come around full circle so to speak....
4th stanza opinion:

"Kill someone else
They'll hunt me
Get myself shot
There goes the sad me "

as maybe:

kill someone else
They`ll hunt me down
it`s still suicide
the other way round
...or not......if you put it to music..send a message..would love to hear it..cooker

right...?


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