After a very long period of writers block, this is my latest. I am currently uploading an mp3 of it to my dmusic site: http://portia.dmusic.com - just scroll down and it will be under the heading of Originals. If it's not there when you read this, it will be soon, so please check back. As always, comments, constructive criticism, and suggestions for improvement are welcome :)
**edit** The MP3 is now up :)
Don't Let Them See You Cry
V1
She walks in
thrown without a script
onto a stage
All eyes on her
then they snickering turn
away
CHORUS
Darling hide your eyes
Don't you let 'em see you cry
Just hold your head up high
Don't you let 'em see you cry
V2
Cruel taunts
condescending thoughts
all around
Her spotlight glares
she can feel their stares
and hunkers down
CHORUS
Darling hide your eyes
Don't you let 'em see you cry
Just hold your head up high
Don't you let 'em see you cry
V3
Rumors and lies
they don't know her besides
these at all
She says she doesn't care
pretends she's barely aware
as their judgement falls
BRIDGE
But on her knees I hear her pray
for the strength to brave another day
Weary hands turn out the light
welcome relief only found in the night
CHORUS
Darling hide your eyes
Don't you let 'em see you cry
Just hold your head up high
Don't you let 'em see you cry
Hi Portia,
Loved your voice. Wow!
It's hard for me to make pertinent comments about the lyrics as this isn't really my type of song, but I really liked the way you did it on the mp3. The only problem that I had was that I couldn't hear the actual words that you were singing. I'm not sure if that's my ears, my speakers, or your recording equipment but to start with I couldn't make out the words at all.
It looks like you have an enviable repertoire of previous work at the site, so it's good to hear that you're back creating again. :)
Cheers, Chris
I really liked this! I got those good chills when you sang the last line in the bridge. All the hair on my feet and arms gave standing ovations! Great! :)
I do have one tiny little suggestion though. I'd think the third verse might sound better like this:
V3
Rumors and lies
they don't know her besides
these at all
Says she doesn't care
pretends she's barely aware
as their judgement falls
But real good work!
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
