Everlasting Question
This is the everlasting question
do you love me?
are you out there?
how are you feeling,
in your time of despair
I'll be waiting right here
with you through every scare
knowing that you will come through
letting me rely on you
whats the answer?
please answer
my question, forever
This is the everylasting, question
where are you, at this time?
your always shining ,no matter what
how do you come through
you've never treated me like a mutt
with you i feel safe
but this is my question
Do You... Love Me?
the answer is what i need
the outcome doesnt matter
all i need is an answer
and then i'll go
and leave you all alone
one last word...
this is my everlasting question...
Do You Love Me?
Written By: Jacob Tubek
any comments?
It's 15 Till And She Has The Other 45 In Her Mouth.
HiYa DillyDally
Sorry just don't do it for me , too many questions and I feel it did not flow that well .
I understand the where you want this to take the listener ( reader ) but I think it falls short .
sorry
That's what me thinks anyway
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
Hey Dilly,
Good ideas....but I was left a little confused.
In the first verse you say "are you out there?"
which made me think that you are looking for love but don't know who the person is yet.
but later you say "you've never treated me like a mutt
with you i feel safe"
which mamade me think you have been having a relationship with this person.
And the other point is this..
In the beginning you say "I'll be waiting right here" IT sounds like you really want to know and hear that someone loves you.
but later you say
"all i need is an answer
and then i'll go
and leave you all alone"
now it seems like you just want closure so you can get on with your life.
I just wasn't really sure what feelings you are trying to convey.
I think you have a good start here and I am easily confused so don't take that criticism too hard.
Those are just my humble opinions...submitted to you out of love. As only one writer can to another. :wink:
I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was - White Goodman (Dodgeball)
