hello this is my new song and id like to here your thoughts on the lyrics and the final product if u wouldnt mind. the finished product can be found at http://www.soundclick.com/ioncedreamtadream
here are the lyrics
Drink down the poison
Tumble into the rabbit hole
where the ocean will only seem much larger
because the darker it gets
the more open our eyes become
absorbing the darkness to search for the light
Our lives are still and posed
manaquins dressed for the occasion
and were bound by the plastic
smiles plastered to our faces
research the part
know your lines and play it well
the clock will not suddenly start to tick up
bleach all the edges
it wont repair the frayed threads
this disguise can only hide its true colours
Just a painting been redone
adorned with fancy brushstrokes
that will one day be thinned enough
to loosten its grip on our smile
well thats pretty much it, if you dont understand the first verse that was almost intentional. I was attempting to use the first "chorus" and everything after to give away those first two three line groupings although im not sure if it worked. Anyways lemme know what you think.
chec out my music
http://www.myspace.com/spencerbeasleymusic
pm if u like it or send me a message on myspace
One suggestion-- you may want to consider tweaking or changing the song title (you particularly have a lot of freedom to do so since the title isn't the hook or anything), because there's no way to look at this song without first thinking of Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees", even if they're totally different.
hmmm interesting point, ive never actually even heard of the song but i dont want people immidiately thinking of someone elses song when they look at mine, ill take a look at it and see what i can coem up with.
chec out my music
http://www.myspace.com/spencerbeasleymusic
pm if u like it or send me a message on myspace
I dig that a lot man sounds awsome.
"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile
I dig that a lot man sounds awsome.
hey thanks alot man thats very encouraging.
chec out my music
http://www.myspace.com/spencerbeasleymusic
pm if u like it or send me a message on myspace
honestly I really did like it. It sounds a lot better then a lot of the other stuff on here. I like bright eyes a lot too kinda see it in there. Reading the lyrics i remember thinking it wasnt going to sound good cause nothing seemed to rhyme but i was totally wrong, i think it all really works with the music. Im gonna get some recording equipment in like a week so maybe i can post some mp3s too, this really makes me realize how pointless posts of just lyrics are with no recording cause you have no idea where the song is going. Anyways keep it up man.
"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile
