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(@lifeisthought)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 16
Topic starter  

[Verse 1]

I'm not sure how to act
My learning is not active
But I'm trying to reinvent my wheel
Although I experience delays in my assembling

[Pre-Chorus A]

From the devil's advocate
Whos brooded over my insecurity in my head

[Chorus A]

Nonetheless
I see a remedy in disclosure
And I feel closure through acceptance

[Verse 2]

Enlightenment gives me a blip of inspiration
Inside my imagination
Making aspirational plans for the future
Making me profoundly happy
Although I struggle to sustain a seamless progression

[Pre-Chorus B]

Because the devil's advocate
Has fantasized over the past in my head

[Chorus B]

Nonetheless
I experience solace in thought
And I feel closure in Today

[Bridge]

Confidence makes me spontaneous and foolish
Flitting my way into being despised
So I took some time
To gaze at your disclosure
Revealing that after all
We are alike

[Verse 3]

So now I attempt to redeem myself
Through benevolence and humility
Although I taste cravings of lust

[Pre-Chorus C]

Through my longing devil's advocate
Whos brooded over my loneliness in my head

[Chorus C]

Nonetheless
I feel happiness with friendship
And I find closure with life

'I know that change means there's still hope. To show this world that I am whole.'


   
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(@ghost)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 815
 

Hey LifeIsThought!

Good song you wrote there. :D

I only had trouble with the 1st verse and have some ideas for it.
[Verse 1]

My learning is not active
I'm not sure how to act
But I'm trying to reinvent my wheel
Although I experience delays in my assembling

You could switch lines 1 & 2 and maybe rework the 4th line to give verse 1 a better flow.

Other then that, like I said you wrote a really good song.

Keep at it!!!

"If I had a time machine, I'd go back and tell me to practise that bloody guitar!" -Vic Lewis

Everything is 42..... again.


   
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(@diluted_metal)
Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 31
 

Yeah its pretty good, nice work.

I love Slipknot, Korn, System of a Down, Ill Nino, Fear Factory, Statc-X, Machine Head, Mudvayne, DevilDriver and South Africa's greatest metal band Seether.


   
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